C h a p t e r 30

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Here we go with Irvin's POV.
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Regret is a strong, very strong word that will put you on your knees or make your life hell.

So think before you do something and say something.

I don't know how to look at myself in front the mirror.

I am sick of myself.

I feel disgusted.

Utterly disgusted.

"Fuck it." I punched the wall over and over again in my office.

Office is not a suitable word to describe it as I have destroyed whole room. The chairs, the desk, the paintings, the wall everything I saw destroyed it.

She did give me a chance.

A fucking second chance.

And what did I do?

I lost that chance too after what I have done.

She is still unconscious, laying in the hospital bed. The same hospital bed where she was before because of me. She was there all the time just because I am dick. A fucking motherfucker dick who doesn't deserve her.

No. I don't deserve her.

She is too good for someone like me.

Who doesn't make her happy.

I have this so fucking much guilt in me that I can't tell you. And it's fucking eating me alive.

She doesn't know what happened after she lost her consciousness.

And I am so fucking afraid what she'll do after she will know.

And the reason behind it is fucking me.

Her mate.

Her asshole mate.

My kroshka won't ever forgive me for this. Ever. I know that.

She will forgive anything but that won't.

I know that.

I fucking know that.

And I don't fucking know what to do.

If I would haven't listened to my pack members.

If I would have take everything back.

If I would ha...

"Alpha?"

If I...

"Irvin?"

If...

"Baby?"

"LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE GODDAMIT WOMAN." I yelled at her behind the closed door of my office.

Footsteps moved away from my office after my yelling.

I don't have a time for her.

For anyone.

Except Ara.

I put my hands on the destroyed wall as blood was dripping from my knuckles from constant punching, glass shattered every single space of the office which not a office right now. It was a messy dirty place.

Glass sliced my feet but I felt no pain.

How can I?

After what I have done?

To her and to him.

I can't forgive myself for that ever.

I did a fucking sin.

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