Unbridled Ache | Remus x Hermione

CHAPTER FOUR: CONTENTMENT

"Break you to pieces and open your flesh"

CW: Minor Injuries

Several weeks passed. Hermione and Remus danced awkwardly around each other during this time. A perfectly choreographed avoidance and polite small talk.

They lived almost like roommates, creating the perfect picture of what Hermione had originally thought she wanted out of a forced union. Now the idea of living separate lives under one roof seemed impossible. Impossible after she had seen the still somewhat groggy werewolf rummaging through the cupboards in the morning, hair hopelessly dishevelled and movements slow. Impossible after sitting through meals together and watching Remus eat. The way his tongue would dart quickly across his lips to make sure he hadn't missed a crumb drove Hermione absolutely wild.

So no. This whole awkward roommate thing was not going to work out for her.

In the beginning Hermione had been intent on keeping her flat, determined not to turn into some simpering housewife that was willing to forfeit every aspect of her independence. When she and Remus argued about it she knew she was being ridiculous but she couldn't stop herself. Now that the dispute had been settled Hermione could admit that maybe her desperation to maintain her flat came from a place of fear about being married to someone she hardly knew in a romantic sense.

But in the moment Remus had argued that they were to be a couple and it only made sense that they lived together. The sentiment had made Hermione's heart soar, and while Hermione was not a fan of flying, that feeling might have been enough to change her mind. Remus had then went on in perhaps a ploy to steal her heart further when he decided to interject actual logical thinking into the discussion. None of her previous partners had ever seemed to take that route. Remus explained to Hermione that he had inherited his family home and that it would be much more economical to take up residence together at Lupin Cottage.

Hermione remembered mulling it over, compartmentalising all of her belongings into categories needing to be packed. Her mind had basically been made up, but it was Remus' next words that cemented the decision for her. In an almost pleading tone he had taken her hand and whispered, "Please Hermione, just let me provide this one thing for you."

And that is where, if Hermione had to pinpoint a moment in time, she would say that she began to look at this whole arrangement in a new light. That is the moment that she would begrudgingly admit to herself that she had begun falling for Remus Lupin.

So when Hermione noticed Remus spending most of his time outside of their home it caused a part of her to shrivel in upon itself, crushing whatever blooming feelings had begun. And it was when she noticed Remus avoiding her presence nearly entirely that the last of her hope that he might see her as more than a child died in her chest.

An aching heart is a kind of sickness that never goes away. It festers and oozes until it is no longer distinguishable from the wicked wild of the world. So each day when Hermione watched Remus draw himself further from her she watched her heart gush black ink.

Each day when Hermione would get home from the Museum of Natural Magicks she would look around for her husband, wanting to tell him about whatever mystifying objects she had encountered throughout the day. She knew Remus would be enthralled with her tales of the sceptre they just got on loan from the Egyptian government with the hopes of unlocking the clues of its past. And of course there was also the draught of an unknown potion that was estimated to be from the 12th century.

Hermione just knew that Remus would not be able to resist picking apart theories for each of her passion projects at work, that they would talk for hours about the possibilities.