The porch looked up at the tree. "Hey tree, what are you up to on this fine day?" the tree replied, "Oh um, hey porch, how's it going down there?" Then the squirrel arrives. They both have a crush on the squirrel, so they both start blushing madly.
The porch was a bit jealous of the tree because the squirrel would always like to climb on the tree and go all over it. The porch then called out to the squirrel. "HEY!! DOWN HERE!! LOOK DOWN HERE FOR ONCE DAMNIT!" The squirrel flinched and looked down. "Oh? Heyyyy, what's up?" he said, casual as ever.
“Oh, nothing much,” Porch said, desperately trying to play it cool while looking way too eager. “Just, you know, hanging out, supporting the ENTIRE HOUSE, being solid, sturdy… Not that anyone seems to notice!”
The tree laughed, swaying his branches all smug. “Oh, please, Porch. Nobody’s interested in a bunch of planks nailed together. Squirrel needs a REAL view. Some height.” He shook his branches proudly, leaves shimmering like he was some kind of superstar.
“Excuse me?” Porch practically screeched. “Just because you’re tall doesn’t mean you’re special, okay? Some of us are sturdy, dependable, down-to-earth—”
“Oh, you mean flat and boring?” the tree said, letting out an overly dramatic sigh. “Look, I can’t help it if he prefers adventure. That’s just life up here. Can’t relate to the… horizontal experience, sorry.”
The squirrel’s ears perked up, and he put his acorn down, finally catching onto the tone. He shot the tree a look. “Hey, don’t be rude! The porch is great! Ever think maybe I like it down here sometimes? Huh?”
The tree froze, his branches going still. “Wha—wait, hold on. You’re saying you’d rather… sit on the porch?”
“Yeah, sometimes! The porch is cozy! He doesn’t sway around all day like you, Tree!” The squirrel crossed his tiny arms, looking fiercely at the tree. “Not everything’s about height, you know?”
Porch puffed up, positively glowing. “Hear that, Tree? The squirrel *gets* it!”
The tree snorted, his leaves rustling as he shook his branches just slightly. "Well, I don't get it. I'm obviously better because of the fact that I’m… I dunno… not nailed to the ground, Porch."
"NAILED TO THE GROUND? EXCUSE ME?!" The porch’s boards practically rattled. "I’m BUILT, okay? I’m solid! I’ve got style. I’m right by the house. The squirrel is currently having the time of his life and you know it."
“Oh, yeah, sure,” the tree muttered, rolling his eyes (if he had any). “I’m sure he’s really impressed by, what, your *planks*? Maybe he can hang out with the rusty nails, huh?”
The porch was practically vibrating with anger as the squirrel spoke up, "Hey, stop it, you're shaking me."
The tree chuckled, "Yeah, stop it before squirrel comes over to me again, I know he perfers the higher things in life."
