Ch. 1 - Winds of Change

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Life is pretty goddamn miserable.

That's one of the things I learnt from the past few years.

I know, shocker.

It's not anything profound, and everybody kind of knows it, even existing in the deep recesses of the minds of the most optimistic of people.

But you never really get it until the worst happens to you.

When it does, you'll realize that the moral of the story is that there isn't one. 

Just when you thought the story was over, it sucker punches you right in the face.

That's exactly how I felt when I lost my sister three years ago.

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Slugging a plastic bag of seven cup noodles, four energy drinks, and one Kinder-Joy (the blue one), I slowly make my way down a busy sidewalk.

The energy of the city I live in is a bit much for a person like me. From the blaring LED screens to the bustling crosswalks and roadside café staff hollering to advertise their store, it's a stretch if you were to ask for an action as simple as a quiet stroll to the convenience store.

Unfortunately, I live in an apartment right in the middle of this nonsense. 

It was the only place I could find that was close to all the stores I liked and had a lot of places to look for a job. It's not the cheapest rent, but I get by from taking odd jobs and commissions from random people in need of an extra pair of hands. But as a result, I hardly have any money to buy stuff I want to buy.

Passing by a figurine store, I couldn't help but steal a glance. I know I can't afford any of them, but I can't help but to look anyway. It's like a fish who intentionally threw a worm to bait itself. Wouldn't it be cool to have a figurine of myself? I'd earn all the royalties from that. Easy money.

I shake my head. No, no, I always think these pathetic thoughts every time I come by here. There's a million different things goading me, tempting me to forfeit my wallet, but I refuse to fall for any of them.

Suddenly, loud music begins to blast from the store to my right. I jump, startled, then look around to make sure nobody saw. It was an electronics store. Dozens of TVs lined up by the window, displaying all sorts of channels. Pfft, jokes on them, I don't need cable entertainment. All I need is the internet.

One of the screen caught my eye, displaying some sort of boy band performing on a stage. I didn't notice at first, but after a few moments I catch myself nearly pressing my face against the glass. I couldn't help but be mesmerized by some of those guys...

It's probably just the gay talking. I could never get invested in idols and groups like that. The concept of being perfect is, to me, too unrealistic to suspend my disbelief. It's not my cup of tea, and I certainly would hate pretending to be someone I'm not. The only plus to these groups for me are that they're conventionally attractive.

In any case, that's enough of that. I need to focus on finding a proper job. The rent keeps getting higher for some reason, and I don't have nearly enough knowledge to know whether that's legal or not. What I do know is that I have to keep forking out money or else I'm out of a place to stay. Thing is, job hunting is a huge pain in the ass. I can't bring myself to suck up to anyone to save my life. If I can't get a job by being honest, it's not a job for me.

Even so...

Where do I even begin?

I've searched high and low in this city for open positions, but nothing good ever came from it. Makes me regret ever coming here in the first place. I thought this place would land me a few jobs easily, but look at me now.

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