When I decide to take time out for myself , choose me first, take a nap or chill, everything else in life just feels the need to overwhelm me
I don't know how to explain it , feeling this way
Spending time with the people I love but instead
I find myself thinking about all the many things I still have to do
Not spending time with people, I then think of what I could've done
When I think I'm finally at peace or have found a way to move on from my drowning thoughts , something else comes up
I ask myself these questions,
Why do I feel like I can never have peace of mind, why am I always in my head, how do I make it stop ? How can I control having one aspect of my life slowly but surely creeping into everything else ?
When I feel stupid or like a failure I tell myself I don't deserve to do things that I love and enjoy
I just lock myself in my room thinking about what could've been if I didn't procrastinate , whilst inside, my soul, body & mind are crying out 'choose me !'
When I choose to let the bottled up tears out, I tell myself 'what are you doing you're just wasting more time or now is not the time' but when will it ever really be the time ?
I know I can do anything I put my mind to but that's it - my mind is constantly filled with thoughts, ones more negative than positive
I ask myself everyday how can I make it all stop ?
I won't lie when I say sometimes I feel as though this life isn't cut out for me
But despite it all I'm still here which to me is more than a sign
It's God reminding me not to worry and that the best is yet to come...so I choose to believe
Believe in God because he has chosen me, he never lets me down and from now on everyday, I choose to believe in me... because there's only ever going to be one of me.
YOU ARE READING
I'm That Bird Learning To Spread Her Wings & Fly
PoetryI started by just journaling and writing my thoughts down which then turned into a piece of creative writing. I feel like it's relatable and sometimes it's nice to know that you aren't alone in your feelings.
