•Innocence•

•18• Mental note, bring him his coffee•

I sigh closing the door behind me.

I cant believe he opened up to me, he told me the meaning of the tiger on his back but..

Something doesn't feel right.

I enjoyed every second of what just happened behind those walls but the entire time we didn't kiss.

What if he just thinks of me as some whore, or slut?

I'm probably just another maid to him and there's no way I'm letting that slide.

And I will not be one of his whores, that he thinks he can just toy around with whenever he wants.

I hate to say this but I think it's for the best if Leo and I stay away from each other.

A tear slips down my cheek as I rush down the hall from his room.

I really need my own bedroom.

I cant believe I just did that, he took a piece of me, a piece of my innocence.

And I let him.

This is also my fault I can't blame him for it all, that wouldn't be right.

As much as I'd hate to think this way, I mean who doesn't hate to think that the man they.. like, thinks that your just another, whore?

It could be worse I could had gave him all my innocence, my virginity.

Anyways thinking about this is just making me upset, so instead of heading down to my room, I make a swift turn for the kitchen.

When Madam Amy was making a salad dressing one of the ingredients was wine, it was box wine but I need alcohol right now.

I sneak into the giant walk in pantry silently looking around for the box of wine.

After rummaging through the hundreds of different unique ingredients that are in the pantry I finally found the red box wine.

I know this is wrong and I'd be in for a lot of trouble if I get caught but..

Yeah fuck it I'm drinking it.

Not enough to get drunk though because drunk Arabella isn't a good Arabella.

And it's like 30 minutes in till maids get off and go to bed, it looks like they haven't even noticed I was gone, so it's not going to hurt to sit here and do nothing for the remaining time, right?

I start to tug the wine off the top shelf satisfaction running through my body as the box falls into my hands swiftly.

I slip into onto the floor, I forgot a wine glass!

I tip toe over to the door poking my head out making sure the coast is clear before running out for a wine glass.

Making it over to one of the cabinets that hold some of the cups in the estate, I stand on my tip toes to reach up for one of the fancy wine glasses.

Grabbing the one closest to me I take it off the shelf closing the cabinet door then I rush back into the pantry again closing the sliding door behind me.

I slide down the door, crossing my legs then leaning forward to grasp onto the box of wine sliding it own just in front of my legs, I put the shiny glass underneath the plastic tap connected to the box.

Lifting the flap, I watch as the blood red liquid comes flooding out from the dispenser.

Filling the glass to the top just because I can, I take my first sip.

Holy fiddle sticks, that's absolutely delicious.

The taste of red wine floods my taste pallet, I close my eyes savouring the bitter but also sweet tasting liqueur.