Hard choice (Dark clouds before sunny weather - Book 2)

Chapter 25

Mo Xuanyu was restless and his head was filled with conflicting and confusing thoughts. Yesterday had been a very strange day for him and he had yet to process everything that had happened.

First, he had been convinced that no one would ever want him, not even his aunt and uncle and had basically broken down, which he was now embarrassed for. His misunderstanding could not have been any bigger in fact. Not only his teacher did not want to throw him away and let him fend for himself, he had actually proposed to adopt him!

And he was not the only one it seemed. Later that evening, Mo Xuanyu had met his other family, the one he had never known he even had. His father had brought him gifts and encouraged him to eat when they had ordered dinner at that fancy restaurant Mo Xuanyu would have never thought of visiting. And his two older brothers whom he had met for the first time as well seemed also to be good people. For a reason that he could not completely decrypt, the newly found family intrigued Mo Xuanyu to no end even though that single short meeting was definitely not enough to get to know them fully.

It was not that his teacher was not taking good care of him. The opposite really, he had nothing to complain about, the last week had been a bliss for him. And playing with A-Yi and A-Yuan was really fun every single time. However, something about having a real family who wanted him was warming Mo Xuanyu's heart, he had never been happier.

Now, he was walking together with his teacher's family on an outing for A-Yi's school. Both his teacher's sons were holding onto the adults' hands on the sides, Mo Xuanyu had gotten the honour of being right in the middle of this amazing family. But after meeting his father and brothers, something felt a little out of place.

All around Mo Xuanyu's there were so many families, holding their children by their hands and laughing. Some were even giving their sons and daughters a piggy bag ride or carrying them on their shoulders. He had seen such unfiltered affection many times in the past, usually when he was walking to or from school. And now that he knew he had a family of his own who could possibly accept him and like him, if not love him, he wondered if he could even have something similar. Or was he being way too greedy?

As the day progressed, Mo Xuanyu was being more and more torn between his options. His teacher had said that he should be the one to say with whom he wanted to live; if he would rather stay at their house or go try his luck with his family. It was a very scary choice to take Mo Xuanyu realized. There were so many things which could go wrong. But also so much he could gain.

It felt like a true miracle that not only one but two families would offer him to go live with them. He knew his teacher and he was very comfortable at his home. However, he still worried that he would cause trouble for him and inconvenience him in the end. Perhaps even causing him to not like him anymore. He would not be able to bear it if this came to be. On the other hand, he did not want to leave A-Yuan and A-Yi, even after such a short period of time, he already thought of them as his brothers.

Despite everything, he was still very curious and excited to have met his own family. Would they be able to come to like him in the end? Or would they end up not being satisfied with his behaviour and disciplining him all the time as his aunt, uncle and cousin had had? Would they think he was a bad boy too? No, that would surely not be the case, Mo Xuanyu could not believe that the smiling older man he had met yesterday would be able to be so strict with him. If anything, he had tried to spoil him rotten during their short meeting.

As for his two older brothers, Mo Xuanyu was even more excited to get to know them. They were both almost adults and they greeted him with a smile and shook his hand, seemingly happy to meet him. It did not look like they would ever be able to sneer like his cousin always had. Not even talking about punishing him in such a painful way or inviting their friends to do it. He had immediately felt safe around them and usually, Mo Xuanyu's intuition was spot on.

He had learned how to recognize danger and animosity from early on, living at his aunt's and uncle's house, it had been a necessity. But from his newly found family, he could not sense any bad intentions. If anything, they truly seemed happy to meet him and eager to take him in.

Mo Xuanyu found it extremely hard to decide what he wanted to do now. Should he stay with his teacher's family, happy and taken care of like until now, and never see his father and older brothers again or should he go home with them and lose the happiness he currently had? It felt like he was standing in front of the most difficult choice of his life. One that would shape his future. And he was scared of taking any decision at all. There was so much to lose either way.

His worries must have shown on his face because as soon as they sat down for lunch, his teacher turned to him: "A-Yu, are you not enjoying the outing? If you are tired, we can go home early. Or I can carry you for a while so you will be able to rest."

Mo Xuanyu shook his head vehemently. See, he was causing his teacher to be worried about him again. This would just not do. Moreover, it was not that he was not enjoying the trip with the class of A-Yi's preschool friends and their families. He liked it very much in fact. It was just that it was making him think way too much about his own situation and the choice he had to take. He found it hard to relax completely and just enjoy playing with the other children.

"I see," his teacher acknowledged his reply. He must have seen right through him judging by his next words: "If you are worried about the adoption proposals, please do not be. I know it is a hard choice, but you do not have to make it immediately. You can take your time and stay with us as long as you would like and need to. And," the adult grinned at him and patted his head gently, "if you wanted to only try going to live with your father and brothers, you could go for a visit any time. We could arrange for a stay, short or long, how you would prefer. We would still welcome you back afterwards."

Mo Xuanyu's mouth fell open with surprise, he had not even thought of this possibility. He had been convinced that he had to decide today and pack his things to go live with whomever he chose. But it did not look like his teacher had the same expectation. In fact, this would be even better. Should he try to go live with his family just for a little while? Would it be alright to take advantage of his teacher's kindness this much?

But he truly wanted to get to know his family better before deciding, he had already been unhappy once in the past. He was certain his thinking was extremely selfish and that if his aunt, uncle or cousin saw his current self, they would have been enraged out of their minds with him. He could however simply not help it. Now that he knew there could be a better and easier life for him out there, he just could not keep himself back from wanting to experience it.