Thick & Thin

Downing the Words Like Vinegar

After spending hours, trying to get ready, I'm able to leave. I am in love with this, everything about this dress is perfect. It's so comfortable, it wraps around my body perfectly, and it shows off everything that I have to offer. I'm in love with this dress, I feel like a princess, and the shoes match perfectly.

I walk out of the car and onto the beautiful carpet with Adrien that leads inside. Everyone looks stunning, but as I get closer and closer, I realize that everyone is wearing black and white. My cheeks turn as red as my dress, and I feel like everyone is looking at us, or me. I pull Adrien close to me with the feeling of being nervous, he looks at me and holds my hand, "relax, babe, I got you". "Adrien, I'm wearing a red dress to a black and white ball." I wanna go home.

I look at a big sign at the entrance, "In honor of Elijah Gatti's Cherry Blossom Foundation". What? no, that's not possible, it's not! Is it? The last name is Gatti, but Elijah? And Cherry Blossoms? Could it possibly be? A suited man with a French accent walks up to us, "Madam! Sir! May I see your tickets, and escort you to your table?" We give him both of your tickets, and his face lights up, "Ah! Very well, you are sitting next to the fou-" He is interrupted by his coworker, "We have a full house, so please show them to their table quickly". "Of course"

After passing by tables, and tables full of black and white dressed people, we finally made it to our own. Adrien looks at me before I can see who we are sitting with, "I don't know if I told you this yet, but you look magnificent, Elena." I straighten his bow tie and give him a little kiss, I turn to look at the table while reading the name cards, and it's the founder of Cherry Blossom Foundation and the man I saw in the elevator... OH MY GOD. IT'S ALSO THE MAN I YELLED AT IN THE HALL. fuck my life. In the dim room, I see him eyeing me and Adrien, he is awfully close to me, so I might as well start a conversation: "So, Mr. Gatti, what made you start this foundation?" What is this foundation for? "Well, Mrs. Castillo-" the look of hesitation occurs on his face, not knowing how to represent my last name, I correct him with a quick "It's Ms.". He smiles, and Adrien is caught off guard. "Ms. Castillo, a young, beautiful woman, helped me with this fund. You see, it's very humorous, we got married under a cherry blossom tree, and ever since then, I've been in love with her. I've cherished her by naming this organization after my favorite memory with her"

My smile fades, while listening, it is him, the look of realization hits me, leaving me speechless. "Isn't it funny, Ellie? Oh, pardon me, Elena". That was his nickname for me, Ellie. He ended every sentence with my nickname when he spoke to me. Hearing it leave his mouth again after a long time made me quiver, I feel like I fell in love with him all over again. "May I have everyone's attention? I would like to thank Mr. Gatti for promoting this ball" a big light shines down on Elijah, and everyone claps for him. My fingertips went numb, my heart beat faster than ever before, and his blue eyes are still lighter than the Weddell Sea. I felt a hand touch my back, but with that touch, I felt nothing. I didn't feel anything after I saw the man that changed things forever. I find myself standing 6 feet away from my first love, and after seeing him, he could be my last. "The Cherry Blossom Foundation is for abused children in the foster care system. One in 5 children is mistreated in foster care. As high as 40 percent of children have been reported being neglected. With Elijah's help, the numbers have been able to help decrease the numbers, his devotion, donations, and dear heart has helped thousands of young kids find better homes." "I would like to introduce the man who has changed futures. Elijah Gatti!"

"Adrien, I can't-" he doesn't hear me over the loudspeakers, my chest goes heavy and I feel like I can't even breathe. "Hello everybody, and thank you for coming to tonight's ball. I want to bring awareness to the children to get abused, starved, raped... this isn't a simple person raising their voice at a kid, it's someone who gives them nightmares, the trauma our foster children have to endure is stomach twisting"

My memories start coming back from the night I left my hometown, everything starts getting blurry, and my head is spinning. "I need to get out of here"

I ran out of the table, I didn't even look back to see if Adrien noticed, my eyes were drenched with tears, and the big lump feeling in my throat started to overcome me. I find the nearest stairwell and run up to the highest floor. I rip off the necklace that chokes me, making me unable to breathe. I find myself on the rooftop, outlooking the city. I see all the people walking, talking, and breathing. I stay up there for what feels like hours, sitting on the floor, until the door opens. Elijah walks to me and sits down, "Ellie... I-" I turn to him, feeling nothing but pain. "This whole time, this whole time you've had a foundation named after us, yet you didn't even bother reaching out to me?" "and the times before today when we ran into each other? You thought that I wasn't gonna find out who you were.". I can tell that he is growing frustrated, "Really? Really? I hope you remember that you left me. I hope you know that you were also the one who didn't remember me when we saw each other the other day." "Please you're just like everyone else" I snap at him, again... "Okay, now you watch it!! You might think you're all big and bad, but, Elijah Barrett, I still see you as the young boy who I fell in love with. Cut the act."

TW: R

"THEN WHY DID YOU LEAVE, ELLIE?" "Elena, if you fell in love with me, then why did you leave?" I'm left speechless. "Do you know how painful it was knowing the only person you talked to was gone? And especially, left without saying a simple goodbye? It's like one night you were here, and the next, you disappeared. I asked Mike and Angela where you were, but all they did was slam the door in my face." His voice starts cracking, turning him emotional, "Ellie, I tried so hard to find you throughout these years, there was simply no trace, it's like you fell off the face of the earth" "You were too selfish to even try to find me". I slapped his face and started beating at his chest, he unpainfully endured it, my punches didn't even phase him. "I had to go. I HAD TO GO. You don't understand, Michael-" Elijah held my wrists when I started hitting my lap, he held me in his arms, and for the first time in a while, I felt safe, "it's okay I got you, it's okay." I cried on his shoulder, " Elijah, you have no idea how much I regretted not leaving without you, or even saying goodbye. I've thought about it every single day for 8 years. You don't understand." He started stroking my arm, trailing the words I love you, thinking that I won't notice. "Elijah... he-"

"Michael." I started to sob into his chest, "I can't even say it, I just needed to go. I wish I would've taken you with me. I'm sorry, my love. I'm sorry." He takes my chin and looks at me. "It's okay, you don't have to explain it to me right now." "I'm sorry..." I start hysterically crying, he puts both arms around me and kisses me, and I don't pull away. 

-Elena Castillo