Pickle Joe And The Adventures Of Mickey Mouse

Chapter One: I'm Not A Pickle.

Okay, to make one thing clear, I'm not a pickle.

Most people would assume because my name is Joe Pickle I'm a pickle. Well, sadly no. 

I do have a pickle for a dick though so that must count for something, right? Well, you're wrong. Nobody wants to bone someone with a crusty pp. 

When my mom was young and sexy and shit like that, she found a pickle on the ground and decided to use it as a dildo. Bad idea. Someone drilled a hole in the pickle and creamed in is so my mom got prego from some random ass pickle. I think that's why my dick is crusty. 

I live on Liver Street, right next to an abandoned forest. There are rumors that some hot guy lives in the forest. I want to check that shit out. I raise my hand and the teacher calls on me

"Yes, Pickle?" Mr. Phatass points his piece of chalk at me. 
"Actually, it's Jo-"

"Don't care, what do you want?" Mr. Phatass asks. 

"Can I go to the bathroom?"

Suzie Sheep taps my shoulder from behind. "Actually, it's washroom. The school washrooms don't have baths in them so you are incorrect."

Mr. Phatass smiles and gives Suzie Sheep a gold star sticker. "Good job sweet- Suzie!"

I'm pretty sure Mr. Phatass is having a sexual relationship with Suzie Sheep. I should report them to the office so that I can get a gold star sticker, but no. 

I'm as inexperienced with sex as Elmo The Baddie, who sits in the back of the room. He came out as Dreamsexual last week and the whole school cancelled him and threw tomatoes at his tiny dick. 

I can't relate because my dick is taller than the Eiffel Tower says my mom. She has a piss kink and likes to watch me urinate which I've grown accustomed to. 

I stand up, regardless of what Mr. Phatass says and walk out the door without signing the sign out sheet. A bunch of kids were creaming in the washroom and they had to send home letters about checking peoples underwear and the washroom stalls so now we have to let the school know when so they know who creams.

I've never creamed before and I want to because my old friend, Jakob told me that he creamed so much when he was feeling feelings for his brother Nathan, he could make a cream pie. I want to make a cream pie with "cream" Hehehe. I'm so funny. (Read Family Game Night (Gone Sexual) By tiddieboobies for reference)

I run out of the school and don't look back. I can't stand that homophobic place. It's not my fault that I find dick enticing.

I run back to my house to change into clothes I don't mind getting dirty, then I bolt out the back door leading towards the supposed haunted forest. 

I take my time tripping over every fucking branch and twig on the ground because I accidentally wore sandals. Oh well. I hope whoever's here likes feet. 

I stop tripping and notice a footprint in the shape of a large question mark. I look up and BAM! I hit my head on a low branch. I groan laying on the ground. My head hurts so fucking much.

After a few moments of heavy breathing, I stand up and rub my dark emo-like hair. My mom thought that getting the emo cut was a good idea. Turns out it was the cheapest option for only $69 because nobody wanted to be emo in my home town of Shrexyville. 

I continue walking until I find a old house in the shape of a rat's ass. I find the front door and open it.

Turns out people still lock their doors. 

I do end up finding an open window at the back of the house. I climb in and, surprise! My phat ass doesn't fit. I wriggle my way through the circular window until I fall onto a pile of what appears to be yellow dog fur. I gasp as I look closer at the carpet. There is a yellow dog skin on the ground. Yikes. 

Another look around the place and you just might cream your pants out of horror for the dirty, dimmed place. No lights, only the sun seeping through the glass-less windows. There are dried leaves all over the place and mud and dirt litter the floor.

I find seven beer cans lying around near a couch so red and faded, it looks white. 

I hear a clatter up the stairs so being the sussy baka I am, I go investigate. 

I walk up the bright yellow stairs and into a bedroom. The floor is covered in red roses and the center of the room there is a bed shielded with curtains a dark shade of pink. 

"I've been waiting for you." A soft male voice drawls. I gulp and walk up to the bed and pull back the curtains. 

I gasp at the half naked mouse-man in front of me. His tall muscular body is the same shade as a raven's. His abs go all the way down until they're hidden by his jeans which are so low on his waist it's as if he's asking for me to take them off. His mouse tail sways side to side and his buck teeth light up the dark room. His ears, oh god, his ears are so sexy. I bite my lip and feel a warm sensation in my pants. I ignore the thought for now as the mouse man sits up and touches my arms giving me goosebumps. 

"You found me my little pickle." He says biting my ear. I cream again.

I then remember where I am and rush out of there. I ignore the mouse man begging for me to stay.

I run home and don't stop until I'm in my room. I close the curtains and lock the door. Then I take my pants of and to my surprise, I've creamed myself. Twice now. And....Three times now. I blush and shove my pants under my bed, not sure what to tell my mom. I then hop into bed and have a wet dream from the sexy mouse man. 

Author's note:

Thank you all for reading, I hope you enjoyed the first chapter of this mickey mouse smut!