𝘱𝘦𝘢𝘤𝘦 ; 𝒹.𝒽

nineteen

Bill and Fleur's wedding was beautiful, to say the least.

But the real fun began at the reception.

But Althena being Althena, she opted to sit alone on the porch while everyone cheered and clapped around Bill and Fleur dancing.

She took a long drag of her cigarette, flicking the ash onto the ground as Remus walked up to her, "Don't let Molly find you doing that."

Althena smiled faintly as he sat beside her, "I'll clean it up."

"Can I ask you something?"

"Only if I can ask you something in return."

"Very well. I don't want to make you uncomfortable but... you don't look happy, Althena."

"I'm perfectly happy, Remus." Althena cooly said, taking another drag of her cigarette.

"You take a drag every time you lie, you know."

Althena sighed lightly and stared down at the ground, "In Diana's letter, she told me not to wait for the train that isn't coming. I've been thinking about that a lot recently. She was talking about Sirius, how desperate I was to just... live in bliss. I haven't been completely happy since Diana died. I've just learned to live with the fact that this is just how I am now."

"I remember that night you called me, it still haunts me at night. That, that was the worst moment of my life. Maybe save getting attacked by Greyback or Sirius and Augustus's death. Blimey, Augustus, I'll never not feel guilty about that, you know? I sort of felt the need to watch over him, to protect him knowing everything he went through. And that night, knowing Aurora had to watch both him and her father die... feels like I failed again the same way I did back in '81."

"We both failed." Althena quietly said.

"What was it you wanted to ask me?"

She turned her gaze to Remus, "Were you in love with Sirius?"

His body tensed up, which Althena quickly picked up on, "I–"

"Your silence is plenty of an answer for me. Diana also knew, that you and him felt more for one another than best friends do. Hell, everyone knew. James, Lily, Marlene, Dorcas..."

"I love Dora very much, she's my partner. I'm lucky and happy to be married to her, please don't think–"

"I know you love her, Remus. But you can also be in love with more than one person, and it doesn't always have to have a label on it or be physical. Sirius, well, he was a lover. But he was only in love with you and Diana. That, I know for sure." Althena said, "Diana knew it, as I said. She knew by the time you all hit fifth year."

Remus sighed softly, "I fear that Diana didn't feel as loved as she was."

"We can't go back and change anything now, Remus. I've had issues coming to terms with that, but now..." She took a deep breath, "I suppose I'll listen to her and stop waiting for what's not coming."

Remus wiped a tear away, "Good Godric, it actually feels good to have spoken about that." He said. Althena smiled softly and passed her cigarette to him. He sighed and took it from her, taking a drag before coughing lightly. He passed it back to her, "Don't tell Dora or Molly I did that."

Althena rested her head on his shoulder and took his hand in hers, "You know I love you, Remus."

She felt him shift, wide eyes staring down at her.

"Fuck, Remus, I'm not coming onto you. I just mean– you're my best friend, I think you might know more about me than anyone else does. Not to mention I've never felt judged by you, despite all of the stupid mistakes I've made. I love you dearly, as a friend."