Things Better Uncalled For

INTRODUCTION: Chinese Take-Out

Another night of awkward silence. "How's the food?" I ask him, attempting to start something that could hopefully be considered a conversation. "It's good," he replies, in his deadpan, monotone voice. He doesn't even look at me while he talks. He's just staring into... nothing. He's not even looking at anything. But he'd rather look at nothing instead of looking at me. Just great. "Well, that's good to hear," I reply, but it's really not. We used to have night-long with each other. Now we barely even talk. "I bought the food, of course I'd like it," he replied. Of course, he has to add a remark. He doesn't even do it to be funny. He just does it because he's always irritated for one reason or another.

Something tastes terrible in the next bite I took. I can't swallow this. I spit it out to see a bunch of green inside. "Are these vegetables?" I spurt out. "Yeah, and?" he asks, of course, not really caring about me or my concerns. "You know I can't eat those," I respond to his sassy remark in a sneering manner, "I'm half cat. I know you didn't forget." He turns to actually look at me for once. We interlock eyes. Not in a good way, though. I can see his contempt through his empty, dark blue eyes. "Well, you're half human too right?" he says, still with his monotone and deadpan voice, but with a sense of irritation attached to it this time. "Use your human hands to take them out yourself. You're a grown man." Of course he pretends to not understand my situation, but honestly he's done this so much that I'm not really that surprised anymore. I just sigh and roll my eyes, and begin to pick them out of my meal.

There are barely any lights on anymore. Just the moonlight shining through the window, and the lamps on the wall, probably hoping to shine on something that's not a dark and empty hull of a house. The only sounds echoing through the house are the sounds of plastic cutlery clanking against Chinese take-out plates, and the sound of 50's movies playing on the television, which has practically blended itself in with the ambience. The couples in those movies are such stereotypical couples: the wife taking care of the house, the man going to work to pay the bills. But they're happy, and they love each other. I wonder if it would be the same for us if we were just... stereotypical and ordinary people. But, of course, we aren't. I'm a criminal lawyer, and he's... a criminal. I don't really know what he does specifically, actually. He's supposed to be a 'security consultant' of some company, but that's just a cover-up. He does private investigative work, he's a paralegal, he's a hitman; he's just a lot of things. But despite his interesting and wide variety of work, he barely talks about it. It's not like I don't know what he does. He just... claims there aren't any 'stories' in his workplace that are worth discussing.

I tell him everything about what happens to me, though. I'm a very popular criminal lawyer. Or, at least, in Alberquerque. I'm known as more of a 'criminal' lawyer, though. Most people won't take a catboy lawyer usually, as it seems desperate and guilty. I, frankly, find offense to people not hiring me for being half cat, but I guess that's not in my control. People also don't hire me because I usually use shady, illegal methods to get criminals out of trouble, but I don't understand why you wouldn't want that; it just proves I'm a great lawyer, is all. Of course, Mike doesn't take my services. But in his defense, we are dating, so it's not really something I should be upset about. That is, if that was the only reason he didn't want my services for. Even without him, however, I still get many clients, including many interesting ones. For example, there's this drug dealer, or, as he likes to call himself, a drug 'producer', who's surprisingly a relatively old man, not someone you'd expect to be involved in the drug business. Well, I mean, Mike's old too, even older probably, but his work is impeccable. He's mostly worked as a police officer before his current occupation, so he's very familiar with drug busts and whatnot. For that, he's been hired as a 'cleaner,' I suppose, since he knows exactly what the police search for. He makes sure the business that's hired him stays off the radar, although I really doubt he's the only factor to that. His boss's a really secretive, efficient guy. He's really well-hidden; hell, even I don't know anything about him. All I know is that he's somehow involved with Madrigal Electromotive, and that's only because Mike's supposedly a 'security consultant' there. Frankly, I'm not interested in getting my whiskers tied into his business anyways; I've already gotten my paws dirty from dealing with the cartel before.

That's a story for another time though. My main client, the old guy previously mentioned, apparently makes the best crystal in all of New Mexico. All of the US too, probably; I wouldn't be surprised if it's just the best in the world. His product's widespread; the purity of it is outstanding, so I hear. He's like... an innovator of meth production, I guess. It's wild that someone who was a chemistry teacher of all things is practically controlling the drug trade. His name's Walter White, and he works with this guy called Jesse Pinkman; but I really care more about Walter because he's the moneymaker here. Outside of the drug-making though, he's not really a crime guy, unsurprisingly. I could easily trace him down, and I've done that, actually. It's a miracle he hasn't been caught by the DEA. He didn't even know the basics of money laundering! That's just insane. And that's where I play in. I get his money clean, make him not so exposed, and I get a large portion of his pay. For a smart guy, he's pretty gullible, honestly. Though, it does pay off having a lot of ties with less than legal parties; that's what I'm mostly there for. I actually net him a job at the place Mike works at. He gets more resources to produce, his product gets more widespread, and he gets more pay. He also gets the perks of working there, which includes being practically invisible to the DEA. It all went well, but I think there's some internal problems happening involving him, which might be the reason that Mike's been mad at me. I don't understand why he blames me though, I was just the messenger. They're the ones that hired him, not me. But woe is me, of course. He won't even let me sleep in the same bed as him anymore! I'm the one that has to sleep on the couch, of course, where else would the cat sleep? Not his own bed, obviously! He won't even let me into our bathroom. I have to use the guest bathroom in my own house! That's like the worst bathroom to use. We don't even get guests, so the place hasn't been cleaned in a long while. Not to mention my litterbox isn't even in that bathroom. I'm stuck using this plastic piece of shit to get my shit out.

Kim never treated me like this. She'd always give me headpats, she got me treats, and she never made me eat vegetables. I miss her a lot. She was the best person I'd been with, and I'd married two times before her. She actually cared about me. She was a lawyer, like me. A respectable one too. She was nearing partnership with HHM, the law firm my brother was a partner at. And she left that place to be a solo practitioner—a solo practitioner with me. We used to do everything together. We were inseparable. She was on my side when my brother wanted to take me down. She helped me through my brother's death. She was with me when I had to deal with the cartel. She was with me until... I think that part's better left unmentioned. I miss her. Mike was there for me too, though. We weren't dating for the most part, since I was with Kim, obviously. But... there was always something between me and him. It's hard to describe. He's helped me a lot, even when I was with Kim. And I've helped him out a lot. It was a mutual relationship. He helped me out after... Kim, too. He's always been the other part I've needed, in work and in life. We're like puzzle pieces. We're complex, but together, problems are solved. That's funny, isn't it? They're inseparable, until some external force comes in and pulls them apart. I wish he'd tell me what the fuck it was. He's just silent and mopey and refuses to confront any problem, until he eventually just lashes out. What Kim had over him, though, is that she wasn't like that. She wasn't mysterious and deadpan all the time. I wasn't left guessing about what the hell it was that made him so upset without any hints whatsoever. But what's happened has happened. I'm here now, and I'm going to be here for a while. That's the inevitable truth. I'll have to get up in the morning, deal with some clients, and hope to God that it's not some abhorrent shit. And that's how it's going to stay.

I've always considered myself a forward-thinking person, but sometimes, I just like to close my eyes, and remember where it all started.