Apprehensions

Karan thought that by the time Aranya was born he had already adapted to fatherhood quite well. He had always been pretty confident in his parenting skills, having taken care of his nephews from a very young age and hence when he became a father himself he was pretty confident he would pull it off. It also helped that their first born Veer was a sweetheart who never troubled his parents. 

Despite the immense faith in himself he kept himself well read about all aspects of pregnancy and parenthood the first time they were expecting. He thought he was doing a fantastic job managing his career and his family. Tejasswi and him had that teamwork between them that allowed at least one of them to be with the kids at all times. They knew right from the start that they didn't want to depend too much on nannies. And although Tejasswi's parents were always too eager to babysit, they still managed to take time for their kids.

Things were pretty smooth as long as it was just them and Veer so when Aranya came along, Karan found himself struggling a bit. He tried to help as much as he could. He was the one managing the late night diaper changes and feedings but most often than not Tejasswi was always beside him. It also didn't help that Aranya, unlike Veer, sought for Tejasswi more than she did Karan, she always wanted to be held by her mother. The possessive guy that he was, it sometimes led him to feel unimportant. He wanted to be the most important man in their lives. 

But he knew he was amazing with Veer. He was the one who dropped him to school, he was the one who took him to the various classes a 5 year old could possibly attend. He was the one who mostly helped with his schoolwork. He was the super dad. In Veer's eyes his father could do no wrong. It was until one particularly stressful day that he sat down to help Veer with his homework. 

It was an Art homework which was usually Tejasswi's department. Out of the two of them she was the more creative one when it came to music, dance and art. However he had noticed Tejasswi feeling extremely tired managing a crying Aranya all night long who just wouldn't sleep unless she was in her mother's arms; so he took it upon himself to do all the household chores and manage Veer by himself to allow Tejasswi some time to relax. 

He was helping Veer with a drawing but he noticed him getting frustrated at the shapes that made no sense. 

"Papa no this doesn't even look like an elephant" Veer whined. He didn't even wait for his dad to respond and immediately called for his mother instead. Tejasswi came out of the room after putting Aranya down for an afternoon nap. 

"Mumma please help me with the homework." He pouted. 

"I thought papa was helping you with that?" Tejasswi cast a glance at Karan who looked so clueless at the same time helpless.

"Papa cannot draw. Look at my elephant, it looks like a mouse. Mumma please help me with this drawing." Veer looked at the drawing and frowned but he still forwarded the drawing book and the pencil towards her.

"Veer, that's not how you should talk, baby. Papa is trying the best he can. I'll help you with this one but then you'll let Papa help you with the rest okay?" She softly corrected the child because she could see Karan was upset. 

When Tejasswi sat down to help Veer with the drawing, Karan got up quietly and made his way to the study. To say he was upset was an understatement. Things weren't going as planned. All he wanted was for Tejasswi to get some time for herself. He thought he could manage. He was supposed to be the super dad. He was already feeling down about the fact that he couldn't help manage Aranya much so when Veer turned his help away he felt incompetent as a father. 

He knew he was being silly. He knew Veer loved him. He knew he was important and needed by his family but he couldn't help overthink like he always did.