Yana's Oneshots

~~𝓐 𝓥𝓲𝓬𝓽𝓲𝓶~~

"No Yana! Stop that please, you're hurting yourself!" Alliyah shouted and cried as I was hitting my head repeatedly.

Hi, I'm Yana. And I am a victim of rape, anxiety, depression and many more.

I never felt any love since I was a child until now. My parents always fights in front of me every single day. There was no day or moment they wouldn't fight and bicker with each other. I was a victim of a broken family. I was depressed even when I was a little kid. Until my parents decided to split up and leave me to my grandparents. And that's when things got even harder for me. Not too long, my grandparents were too old to take care of me so they gave me to my cousins' house to live with them. For the first time, I felt the love I've always craved for. But it didn't stayed too long. I was 13, when I was walking home alone at night from the neighbor's house after giving them something, someone pulled me into an alley and began undressing me without any of my consent. He raped me. I was raped.

That's when everything came back. Because of that incident, I became depressed again. My cousin, Angeline, who was living not too far from us, but doesn't live with us as well, decided to stay with us for a few weeks because of what happened. Until one day, I finally got the courage to tell them what really happened. They opened up the case and after few months, that guy was finally prisoned for more than 2 years. And after that, things became even more worse. They became even much strict to me. I was ok with that but still, no matter how hard they try to make me feel better, I would still end up crying and hurting myself. Like what I'm doing now.

"Yana, enough... Don't do this to yourself.." Anika said as she held my hand and tried to stop me

"Don't touch me! Aah! Pleasee don't!" I screamed

"No Yana, you're hurting yourself, stop this.." Angeline stated

"No please... Don't.."

"I've had enough... I don't want to live anymore... The world is too tough for me..." I cried and eventually fell to the floor of my room sobbing

After calming down, they left me alone and went downstairs after locking the door. I was still sobbing when I see a beam of light shining from the window. I slowly stood up and walked to the window to see a rainbow through it. It was quite weird for me but I loved it. It feels like I wanna go there. I grabbed something and made the biggest decision of my life. This is it. Finally. I've waited for this.

I slowly opened my eyes to a beautiful view in front of me. I was still in my room but it's so much different. There was the rainbow. And the air feels so nice. I did it. I finally did it.

I slowly glanced at my right side where my body is. I did it. I ended up my life. There were blood around me. But it was all worth it. I realized that, if you want to see the rainbow, you have to end the rain first. And I did. I ended my own rain, and now, I finally got the rainbow I always needed. I'm safe now. I'm loved. I know that this wasn't the best thing to do but, my mind was blocked and filled with so much negative things from the world, but, after all I'm just a human. A victim.