Sevika X Reader (Angst)

Stupid but heroic decisions being made

Sevika's arm is beyond repair. It's the greatest weapon between us, and it is gone. The war has started, there's no doubt about that. There is doubt, on my side, of what to do. Fighting is an honorable option, but I've just now found someone I want to stay safe for. Is that hypocritical? Should I want to fight for her? More than anything, I want to stay here, by her side. I took her back to the appartment. Silco's office was way too vulnerable, scavengers of power are bound to go there. 

She's passed out on the bed, she deserves to rest. I cleaned up the machine parts still attached to her left shoulder, and she took a shower. Afterwards, I brushed and dried her hair. I took off her makeup, and moisterized her face. She had this look in her eye, a look of complete uncertainty. Like she's somewhere far away, just letting me play with an avatar of herself. She's been quiet, but when she did feel like speaking, she said,

"This is a turning point. This is the turning point." The loss of her arm has been hard. An arm, a hand, is such a pivotal thing. It's the agency she so values. I couldn't stand the way she looked into the wall, without hope. She's been working towards this goal for so long, and now that it has begun to take shape, there's nothing she can do. Half of shimmer production was destroyed, and Silco is dead. The undercity is a chicken running with its head, and tallons cut off. We were supposed to be moving towards a peaceful independence, sovereinty without bloodshed. Now, it's only a matter of time before hextech is used to kill us. 

I'm sitting up next to her, holding her hand in mine. What would she be, if she hadn't been born here? If she had the opportunities of education and stability? She's loyal, caring, calculative. She's supportive, and plays the long game. Maybe she could have been a teacher, with those skills. And maybe I could have been a baker, but what good is thinking about things that will never happen? I have to think of what's happing now, in the next couple hours. 

I don't know where to go to find a mechanic for her arm, I don't have any money to pay for a replacement. 

I remove my hand from hers to cover her with a blanket up to her chest. I wonder what her parents were like, how long it's been since someone's taken care of her before me. I know what I have to do. I kiss her cheek, it doesn't wake her up. I write a note that was left under a glass of water on her bedside table, and then I left.

Sevika's POV

I wake with a rush, still feeling residual panic. My torso feels horribly unballanced. What can I do to protect my people, to protect Y/N? They're not here, shit, where did they go? There's a note left, it says,

-- Sevika, I'm going to the Firelights, they're the only way the people of the undercity will survive this. Join me, please, - Y/N  --

Their absence is an ache. 

(I'm taking a break from writing this story to write fluff stuff/scenarios/headcanons. The plot behind this story is so close to my heart, but is so so so sad. My shriveled little Grinch heart can't take it. Leave suggestions on if you want Sevika to join the firelights in the comments below, I'll write another chapter soon-ish.)