[[Until We Become Lions]]

Chapter 64

The next morning

Danijela got an earful from Espada for being late to meet her at the dock in Siniestra. She had opted to walk despite still healing from the injury that Espada had inflicted on her, and was too fearful to drive for fear of appearing on any public roads where she could be recognized. Her eyeballs felt like they were bulging from their sockets, and her wrists were wrought with red marks which she tried to cover with the sleeves of her jacket. She laid down as soon as she stepped onto the boat while Espada took the driver's seat. Espada was still skimping on any details of this lieutenant they were hunting, which prodded Danijela to think it was probably a personal matter. For Danijela, this trip was a bit personal too. Jose was a little arrastrarse who had tried to worm his way into her sister's naive head.

Espada and Danijela traveled under the darkness of the early morning. Danijela could barely keep her eyes open, but all she could think of while she was awake was the last few hours she had spent with Juan. If she had been drunk, then she could understand why she might have been willing to fuck him in a stolen car, but she was completely sober and well aware of what she was doing. It did not take long for the guilt to set in as soon as Juan fell asleep in his hammock when they returned back to their rendezvous point. She watched him for a few minutes and then had the awful thought of the possible things he and her mother did together when they were in the early stages of building Libertad. It wasn't a pretty picture.

Her second thought had been two-fold - drifting like a fork in a river. One was smooth and expected, leading back to the safety and familiarity of Anton, while the other was more tumultuous, and more rapid, leading back to the uncertainty of what she felt towards Clara Garcia. The thought that she had betrayed her feelings for Clara. That she had permanently sealed herself off from Anton completely. It left a hole in her she wasn't quite sure Juan could fill.

But she had felt something. And perhaps he wasn't the exact piece that could fill that void but he made her feel alive in a sense that she had not yet experienced in this lifetime. Perhaps she just needed more time to be sure she could live with the edges that couldn't be filled.

"As soon we as kill Napoleon el Pequeño, we're going to raze all those fucking tobacco fields from the ground."

Espada had been quiet for most of the ride, so this sudden commentary gave Danijela the welcome distraction she needed from her own thoughts.

"That's how your papa got sick right?"

Espada nodded.

"That tobacco was supposed to make our people rich. That's what Anton said, anyway."

Danijela looked out to the passing ocean. Bits of water splashed against her face, contrasting against the warm air of the night sky.

"Anton seemed to promise people a lot of things." Danijela said.

Espada agreed, "Yes, and a lot of us voted for him. We believed in his promises. We thought it was going to be like the old days again."

"...Like some kind of fantasy." Danijela solemnly replied.

"Si." Espada said, "But I guess you know better than anyone else...I'm sorry."

"It doesn't matter anymore."

"It does matter." Espada said to Danijela's surprise, "You are the change we need. Sure my papa doesn't see it just yet, but we need someone like you to whip us all into shape. Bring us together. I can tell you for sure it's not going to be papa."

"And you think killing Jose is going to help bring us all together?"

"It's more of a plan than what my papa has ever come up with."