CASTLEVANIA: Huntress of Darkness

Chapter 6: The Burden Of Duality

PART 6 – The Burden Of Duality

I had to stop it. We had to think clearly.

"Are you telling me..."

"Yes. Right now, you have two options. Your choice."

My heart was beating loudly.

"I never wished for your death, Adrian. It's you who wants to die."

Alucard's gaze was slow and inviting.

Seeing how bestial he became... it was no wonder he felt that way. He was torn between honoring his mother's last plea... and his newly-found disappointment that put all the humanity at risk. Much like his father's vengeance did. It was one hellish duality that existed in creatures like us.

"I do not wish to die, Ilona... I merely wish for the pain to cease. Sometimes, the only cure for such state is death."

"Such a pessimistic view. Death is never the solution, though."

Regardless, I understood his philosophy. It was about the pain of our existence. The pain of solitude. The pain of being feared, rejected and misunderstood. Of being used... and shunned away. We coped with it each on its own, the ways we estimated were the best for us. And sure, we both persisted somehow. But, the initiate pain still remains. It sticks with us and even when we try to peel layers of it off... forget it... bury it... it still never goes away. There's always more of it. In different shapes, forms and people. Different decisions. And it never truly disappears.

"What will it be, lady Bathory?"

It's an open invitation. One I'd normally never neglect.

Dhampirs are rare. And even if we weren't rare as species... it was almost as if we were designed for solitude. Take it from me... and from Adrian. There are plenty possibilities, be it humans or vampires... but we fit to none, not even amongst dhampirs as well. Chimeras aren't going to like other chimeras just because they fit the classification.

"It's too late for us to..." I utter, trying to compose myself anew. It was easy to give in to someone like Adrian... so easy to get lost in his eyes, his embrace, and in his lips. But there was no point in it.

"It's just been a little over a year," he noted, and to him, it was. Technically, it was true. I put him to slumber so he could regenerate, supplied him with blood that was filling the tubes of his coffin in order to keep him fed and healed. I did the alchemistic modifications that could be viewed as magic. They required a sacrifice. And since I didn't want to slaughter people... I had to find other solutions.

"You chose to fight him over me. You chose the bloody coffin over me, to rot under Gresit for... who knows how long... if..." I whispered, reminding him of what he knew too well. He didn't need a reminder.

"It was beyond my..."

"It wasn't! That's the point! It wasn't!" I lost my patience. I shouldn't have, for it only demonstrated how frustrating it still was for me. How it still hurt me. I had to calm down.

"It wasn't beyond your power of regeneration. You merely gave up," I whispered.

"I merely chose her wish over yours... and, for that, I apologize. Someone needed to oppose my father. Those capable enough refused to defy him; those who couldn't merely decided to join him on his quest. You are one of the rare ones that had the luxury to stay neutral. I didn't have that option. I had to stop him. For she was my mother after all, and her wish was my burden to carry. Not yours as well. I don't blame you for choosing neither."

I looked aside, unable to face him any longer. We both carried our pain the best ways we could.

"To you... I was..."