Trauma

        Jay and Hailey returned to the district after Voight went into surgery to remove the bullet Anna had put into his shoulder. As much as they wanted to stay at the hospital to wait for results they knew they needed to debrief with the team. They had Will’s promise that he would call with regular updates. 

         "Everyone alright?" Jay asked as soon as he was up the stairs. Kim and Kevin were sitting at their desk looking satisfied yet exhausted.  

         "We did it." Kevin stood and slapped Jay's hand. Kim and Hailey hugged briefly.

        "Where’s Adam?" Jay asked looking around for the missing member of the team. 

        "He's in the locker room. He's been in there since we got back. I know you haven't fully briefed yet but Adam shot a teenager. As we opened the door to breach the kid opened fire. Adam shot back and hit him. That's when we realized it was a kid. " Kevin explained. 

       "I tried to talk to him but he says he's fine. He just wants some time to process." Kim added with concern clear in her eyes.

       "I'll go talk to him. Keep everyone out for a little while please." Jay gave Kim a quick hug before heading into the locker room.

       Jay took a breath before pushing the door open to the locker room. Adam was sitting in front of his open locker staring at nothing. His shoulders were slumped forward in dejection.

       "Adam?" Jay said before approaching so he wouldn't startle the young man. 

       "You guys ok? Haven't really heard what happened with Anna and Voight yet." Adam sat up straighter and took a breath.

      "Voights in surgery to remove the bullet Anna put in his chest. He should be back in no time." Jay answered as he sat down next to Adam. "Talk to me."

      "I'm OK. It's just hard to wrap my head around it. He was just a kid. Probably 11 or 12." Adam shook his head and dropped his gaze.

       "You remember a few years ago when I fired one shot and it went through the offender, through the door and into that little girl?" Jay spoke softly and leaned forward with his elbows on his knees. Adam nodded that he did. Jay continued, "that messed me up for a long time on top of everything else that was going on at the time. I still have nightmares about it every now and again."

       "How did you get over it?" Adam asked and Jay noticed his friend was gripping his knees and bouncing his leg.

       "I don't think I ever did fully. Something like this goes with you for the rest of your life. But there are ways to make sure it doesn't take over your life." Jay admitted. Adam was silent for a moment as he digested Jay's words. He remembered waking Jay up on the couch one morning in the breakroom and Jay almost punching him out. He had seen Jay's fight with PTSD from his time in the army rangers on top of what they went through in their job.  

       "So what do I do? It keeps going through my head, man.  I keep seeing it over and over. " Adam rocked back  and forth slightly, getting emotional. 

        "First thing, you're going to stop holding it in and just let it go man." Jay put hus arm across Adams shoulders and waited. Adam allowed the recent memory to surface. Kevin had opened the door to the stash house and shots were fired from inside. Ruzak had returned fire and caught the shooter. As he passed the body as they went inside he had looked down into that small young face. They had not stopped to check for a pulse, the officers behind them had been designated for that. Emotions bubbled up in Adam as he saw those brown eyes in his minds eye. The dam broke as tears flowed and he started to sob. Jay pulled him tightly to him and rubbed his shoulder as he sobbed. Silently supporting his friend and partner. After awhile the wracking sobs slowed and Adam wiped his face on a towel from his locker. 

      "Next step is after you are finished with the department councilor meeting you need to go see Voight's therapist. She's not part of the department so you can talk about everything without worrying about being benched. I actually don't even know if she's a real councilor, she may be an escort, but she listens." Jay bent his head and spoke quietly to his friend.  

     "Thanks Jay." Adam blew out a breath and wiped his face on the towel again feeling spent.

     "Any time. And I mean that Adam. You know the baggage I carry. If I can help you keep you from the mistakes I've made I will." Jay stood and squeezed Adams shoulder briefly. Adam stood and hugged Jay briefly.

     "If your good, we'll go debrief and go wait at the hospital for Voight to get out of surgery." Jay clapped Adam on the shoulder as the two of them headed back to the bullpen.