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by enbycuzgenderisbitch

by enbycuzgenderisbitch

(just a thing before we start i wanted to give them first names so mr. hopp is oliver)

Mr. Stripes: If I'm really as evil as you say I am, then have the gods strike me down where I stand.
*Lightning strikes Mr. Stripes*
Mr. Stripes: Ha! Nice try, jackass! Next time, give it your A-game!

Mr. Stripes: Hey Hopp can I get a sip of your water?
Mr. Hopp: It's not water.
Mr. Stripes: Vodka, I like your style!
Mr. Hopp: It's vinegar.
Mr. Stripes: Wh-Wha-
Mr. Hopp: It's vinegar, COWARD.

Mr. Hopp: Name a more iconic duo than my crippling fear of abandonment and my anxiety. I'll wait.
Mr. Stripes: You and me!!!
Mr. Hopp, tearing up: Okay.

Mr. Hopp: How petty can you get?
Ruby: I once edited a Wikipedia article to win an argument I was wrong about.

Mr. Hopp: I turned out perfectly fine!
Mr. Stripes: Hopp, this morning you thought a ghost made your toast
Mr. Hopp: I DIDN'T PUT THE BREAD IN! YOU DIDN'T PUT THE BREAD IN!!!

Mr. Hopp: You're 'the second worst thing to ever happen to those orphans', what does that mean?
Mr. Stripes: It means i was second worst thing to happen to those orphans.
Mr. Hopp: but what's the first worst thing?
*Awkward pause*
Mr. Stripes: Oliver, they...they weren't always orphans.
Mr. Hopp:

Mr. Hopp: I'm gonna need a human skull and I can't have you ask any questions why.
Mr. Stripes: Only if you also don't ask why
Mr. Stripes: *Pulls out 7 pristine human skulls* Take your pick.
Mr. Hopp:
Mr. Stripes:
Mr. Hopp: This one is fine

Mr. Hopp: *Gets down on one knee*
Mr. Stripes: Oh my god, it's finally happening.
Mr. Hopp: *Falls over*
Mr. Stripes: The poison is kicking in.
(enemies to friends to lovers arc? enemies to friends to lovers arc.)

Mr. Stripes: Violence isn't the answer.
Mr. Hopp: You're right.
Mr. Stripes: *sighs in relief*
Mr. Hopp: Violence is the question.
Mr. Stripes: What?
Mr. Hopp, bolting away: And the answer is yes.
Mr. Stripes, running after them: NO-

Ruby: Someone will die.
Mr. Hopp: Of fun!

Mr. Hopp: You think I really give a fuck? I can't even read.

Mr. Hopp: If you can't beat them, dress better than them

Mr. Stripes: I told Oliver their ears flush when they lie.
Miss Bo: Why?
Mr. Stripes: Look.
Mr. Stripes: Hey Olly! Do you love us?
Mr. Hopp, covering their ears: No.
Miss Bo:

Mr. Stripes: Mr. Hopp and I were crossing the street, and this dude drove by and honked at us
Miss Bo: *Sighing* What did he do?
Mr. Stripes: They chased him to the next red light, then reached into his window and...
Mr. Hopp: Who wants a steering wheel?

Mr. Stripes: I'm kind of crushing on someone, but I'm worried about telling you who it is, because you're not going to like it
Miss Bo: Just rip the bandage off.
Mr. Stripes: It's Oliver.
Miss Bo: Put the bandage back on.

Mr. Hopp: How's the cutest demon vessel here?
Mr. Stripes, not looking up from his book: I don't know, how are you?
Mr. Hopp, flustered: I-
Miss Bo, from across the room: I'm doing great, thanks!

Mr. Stripes: While I'm gone, Mr. Hopp, you're in charge.
Mr. Hopp: Yes!!!
Mr. Stripes, whispering: Miss Bo, you're secretly in charge.
Miss Bo: Obviously.