I'm running out of ideas. Also, this does have angst in it and will be in two parts, this one is completely angst and the next one will be smut so you can skip this one, sorry, I just want this one out. Okay, enjoy. Also, I don't know how the hell to cook so this probably isn't accurate. :(
Monty's POV
I open my eyes as I felt someone's arms around me. I smiled, it was my boyfriend, y/n. He looked so pretty when he was sleeping... Stop being a creep. I thought angrily. I gently moved his arms off of me and sat up, making sure not to wake him. I got out of bed and grabbed my headphones and phone then went to the kitchen to make eggs and bacon because I don't know how to cook other shit. I connected my headphones and started to play some music because if I didn't I would probably die.
He liked the eggs (however the hell you make eggs), so I made them like that. I heard footsteps and turned around as I started to cook the bacon. "Morning, Y/n." I smiled, he gave a tired smile back as he laid his head down on my shoulder. "I'm tired... Food smells good though." He yawned.
I finished cooking the food, and I gave him his plate of food. While I was cooking, he kept fidgeting around, looking around nervously. It was fucking hot and he was wearing a damn hoodie. "Baby, why are wearing a hoodie?" I ask, trying not to sound like I'm accusing him. I know about his depression, but I don't tiptoe around him like if I touch him he'll break.
He drew in a sharp breath, "nothing." He says quickly. I sigh, "Alright, but you know you can--" "Talk to you, yeah, I know. You tell me every day." He giggled. "Yeah... Uhm, you can go ahead and eat. I'll be back..." I quickly made my way up the stairs. I wnter our room and walked towards the nightstand. I never used it.
I opened it and started to rummage though it. "Hopefully it isn't in... Here..." I pull out a knife and the last words escape my mouth. I eyed it sadly and sighed. I set the !nic on the bed. I look through the drawer more and find a journal. I flip to a random page,
Dear Diary,
I don't think I should read this... I think but instantly put that thought away as I see blood stains, that looked quite fresh. Damn it! I thought angrily as I scanned the page.
Friday, June 3rd
Dear Diary,
I don't know how much longer I can handle this! I don't understand how Monty can handle me... I don't know why he does, he can abandon me, a few days ago I snapped at his but he just hugged my and calmed me down. Why is he doing this?! I don't understand! I could just jump off of the bridge that isn't to far from the house. I think I might do that. Yes, a quick, painless death. I'll do it on Monday. Goodbye.
Angry tears fell from my eyes, I placed the journal and knife back into the nightstand. I quickly walk back down stairs and glare at him, he noticed and gave me a questioning look, "WHAT THE FUCK!?"
Y/n POV
I flinched as he yelled. "Please don't be so loud..." I murmur. "Why the hell would you want to jump off a fucking bridge." My eyes widen. "Y-you read my diary." "Not completely, I flipped to the most recent one and read it." Tears ran down his face, he looked so mad and I didn't understand. "Why do you even care!?" "BECAUSE I FUCKING LOVE YOU! YOU THINK I'M JUST GOING TO JUST WATCH MY BOYFRIEND JUMP OFF A FUCKING BRIDGE!?" "YES! YOU SHOULDN'T CARE ABOUT ME! I DON'T FUCKING UNDERSTAND! WHY!? WHY DO YOU CARE?" I yelled back. "Becua-se I love you... I love you so much y/n. I don't know what I would do if you left me..." Tears streamed down my face now, "I love you too... You might want to eat, you food is cold." I smile as he sat down. I got up and sat on his lap, laying my head on his chest. I could hear his heart beat and it calmed me down. "Can you promise me somethin'?" He asked as he swallowed a piece of egg. I nodded, "What is it?" "Can you promise to stop hurting yourself... And promise me you won't leave me by suicide, or really for any reason. I love you too much to lose you to anything." I looked at him when he finished his sentence. I kissed him. After a little I broke it, "Of course, I promise to both of those. But obviously, the cutting has become an addiction, it won't be able to instantly go away." He smiled, "Then I'll get rid of all of your long sleeved shirts and your hoodies, only giving them to you when its cold." I gasped, "Excuse me!? My life revolves around hoodies!" "You'll find another way to live." He chuckled. He kissed my nose and then continued to eat. I got up and ignored him. "Now I don't know if I want to kiss you anymore." I said. "Noooo! Please!" He whined. I smirked. "Please! Come sit on my lap again." He pleaded. "Alright fine, only since your heartbeat is calming." I walked over to him and sat back down on his lap, laying my head on his chest. He wrapped an arm around my back. "I love you so much." "I know, you've said that 100 times." "Well it's true." He said defiantly. I rolled my eyes.
"Well I guess I love you too you dork."
"I'm not a dork."
"Yeah you are."
"I'm your dork."
"Shut up,"
"You know I'm right."
"Whatever."
Ugh, finally, this bitch is out and it's past 1000 words, fuck. That last part was just so it could get back 1000.
W.C ~ 1025
