When I Go To Sleep At Night

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It was the summer of 2001. Little Lylah had just awoken from her nap. She stretched and made that cute little kid noise you adored so much. She rubbed her eyes and sat up.

"Momma?"

"Good afternoon, little angel." You replied with a smile. Her next words came as a shock to you.

"Momma... Where's Dadda?"

You sighed, trying to find the words to answer you daughter. You knew the day would come. But she's only 6 and you'd hoped it would be lot later when she had these questions. The truth broke your heart, but you knew she deserved to know. You took a deep breath before you answered. "Well baby, Dadda's not here."

"Why not?" She asked. This was gonna be the most difficult part.

"Honey, I'm not too sure. He never really told me."

"I don't get it, Mommy. You're a pretty girl. Boys like pretty girls, don't they?"

It broke your heart more and more with each passing second. Her innocence and lack of understanding made you want to break into tears right then and there. "Yes, baby. Yes, they do. I wish I could give you the answer you're looking for; but I'm afraid I just can't. But I can promise you one thing, baby girl. I love you more than you can ever imagine. And that's better than some dumb boy, right?"

You were hoping she'd think along the lines of, "boys are icky and I have my mommy so I don't need a daddy anyway." Instead, she was silent for a moment before her response shattered any remaining heart you had after this conversation.

"I just wish I knew why he didn't want me is all..."

With that, she got up and made her way to her room, leaving you to cry in the living room.

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