𝓡𝓸𝓷𝓪𝓷𝓬𝓮 𝓸𝓷𝓮𝓼𝓱𝓸𝓽𝓼

But I'm a Cheerleader! (Rachel's Version) Part 1

In which Nancy is sent to a pray away camp and she meets a player named Robin.

TW- Homophobia/Internalized homophobia

[Nancy's POV]

I fucked up. I fucked up BAD. My mom found a love letter in my room, one I wrote to my friend, Barb. She died a few years ago, but at the time I had a crush on her. I wrote the letter, I was going to read it at her funeral, but I decided against it. It's been in my diary since then. In an envelope. But mom decided to go through my diary- and she found the letter. She was curious what it was, she opened it. She read it. She read it and then she told my dad.

I pack my bags for summer camp. Summer camp should be a fun experience. This one is going to be the worst summer of my life. The last summer break I'll have since I graduated. And I'm spending it at summer camp. Not just any Summer camp though, a church funded one. Where we're sent to 'fix' our problems. Or- rather, pray to God to fix them for us. I walk downstairs, out the door, and throw my bags in the car. This is going to be a long, long car ride. And an even longer summer.

When I get to camp, I'm assigned to a cabin. I walk in and am immediately met with Max Mayfield and a girl I am unfamiliar with. The unknown girl turns to me. "Hi- I don't believe I know you.. name's Dottie." I nod, looking at Max "Wheeler? What the hell are you doing here?" I roll my eyes, slamming my bag on the only available bed. "None of your god damn business Maxine." She looks like she's going to snap my neck when I say her name. I smirk. I can see why she's a redhead. "Call me that again and I'll tell the counselor you were making out with a picture of Kate Bush." She mumbled before grabbing her clothes, going to the bathroom and presumably changing. I roll my eyes as I start to unpack, setting my small radio out on my nightstand. I put all my clothes in the drawers provided and then I make my bed.

Max makes her way out of the bathroom and I immediately noticed she messed with her uniform. "Where are you going like that?" "None of your god damn business, Wheeler." She saunters out of the cabin, heading to the right. I assume she's going to cause a lot of trouble so I don't bother following after her. Instead I go to the bathroom to change into my uniform. Our uniforms are really just green runners shorts and white t-shirts with a green trim. They have praying hands on them. On the back is a scripture about how homosexuality is a sin. It's the same every year. Not that I know from personal experience. I walk out of the bathroom and right out of the cabin.

Right outside I hear two voices and it reeks of cigarette smoke. I cough as I inadvertently inhale the smoke. "Woah Prissy! You're supposed to blow it out!" I hear that god awful voice. The voice that belongs to the one and only Robin Buckley. "Robin don't waste your time with this one. She doesn't belong here." I hear Max say under her breath. I snap back around "Excuse me?" Max snickers "She has a boyfriend- real creep if you ask me.." I can feel my face getting red as I dig my fingernails into my palms. "Don't talk about Jonathan that way! He's nice to me!" This time Robin chimes in. "Nice, huh? How's he in bed?" I blush "I- we're waiting till-" "Convenient of you." I glare at the girl. She's smirking at me. I feel my heart melting "I'm not gay. I'm a cheerleader!" "Cheerleader? We're supposed to have a game of volleyball today. You gonna cheer for me, Prissy?" I stay quiet, looking down before I walk away.

This afternoon, after lunch, everyone is pulled out of the mess hall and we are sorted into teams for volleyball. There are four times as many girls than we need, so the counselors ask us for volunteers to wait. I raise my hand, obviously I don't want to play this game. "Okay everyone! The teams are sorted! We need the ones who aren't playing to motivate everyone else to do a good job!" The main counselor, Susan Mayfield, says in an encouraging tone. I know she just wants us to cheer, so I try to find out which team Robin is on, then cheer for the opposite. "Nancy! Oh good we have an expert with us! The ones cheering for that team- they need help.. please go show them how it's done!" FUCK! I look at Robin, she has a wide smirk on her face. I glare at her, sighing as Susan hands me some pom poms. "Come on, Prissy! Cheer for us." She winks whenever Susan focuses her attention at some girls who tried to sneak off. I roll my eyes. "Fine. You want a cheerleader? You're getting a cheerleader."

I grab two scrunchies from my pocket, tying my hair up in a ponytail with one and my shirt with the other one. I tuck the extra of the shirt up under the rest, so my stomach is exposed. Like the cheerleaders for the Indianapolis Colts. I don't watch football, but my dad sure does. And sometimes I pay attention to the cheerleaders- there techniques and such.. Robin looks slightly shocked. She's looking at me like I'm insane. I smirk to myself, knowing that's exactly what I wanted. "Nancy you should cover up before someone attacks you." I was shocked to hear her say my name.. I don't think I've ever heard her say it like that. It gave me goosebumps. Probably the bad kind. Definitely the bad kind.

A redhead approaches Robin, taking the cigarette right out from the girl's lips and moving it to her own. I feel a pang in my chest. Disgusting. She's totally flirting with her. I turn away, ignoring Robin's advice and instead I roll my shorts up so they barely cover my thighs. Robin doesn't seem amused by the girl's thievery. She takes her cigarette back and I can feel her eyes boring into me. "What is it, Robin?" She bites her lip, looking around before grabbing my hand. "Come on you little tease."

I follow her, I'm not sure why. She's very intimidating. She takes me behind an old barn and pushes me up against the wall. She's gentle. "Robin I'm flattered but-" She chuckles "Don't be." With that she adjusts my shorts so they're back to the normal length. She then reaches her hand up my shirt and I get chills. I feel... queasy. She grabs the scrunchie and pulls it off of my shirt, slipping it on her wrist. "Prissy, you're crazy. You do know you're in a place crawling with girls who like girls right? And you're gonna go around looking like that?!" She pulls me by the collar of my shirt. It feels like we're inches apart. I look up into her eyes, feeling helpless. "What's that look for? I'm not going to do anything." I raise an eyebrow "Really?" She lets go of my shirt, brushing my shoulders "Nah, you said you're straight. That you don't belong here. You have a boyfriend too- I'm not a monster, Nance." I nod, gulping. "Thanks.." "For what?" "For slapping some sense into me.." I look down as I walk away.

After volleyball, it's time for dinner. I sit by myself, but the girl that was hanging out with Robin all day sits down next to me. "Hi! I'm Vicky. You must be Nancy.." I nod, staying quiet. "So.. Robin seems.. fond of you." She glares at me. Oh. That's what this is about? "No. I don't really know her. Go for it. I'm straight anyways." She nods, a smile spreading on her face "Excellent!" And with that, she gets up and goes to sit with Robin and Max.

It's finally time for the first chapel session. We are all led to our cabins to change into our church clothes. Our church clothes consist of knee-length, black skirts, black flats, and white, long sleeve shirts. Once we are all looking 'presentable', as the counselors said, we walk to the Chapel. We all sit down in our seats. We are quickly told to stand for worship. They play a few songs, then we are given permission to sit. A few girls went up to the alters and started praying during worship. I was going to go but I didn't have the chance. So we all sit and listen to the sermon.

By the end of the sermon it's 9:00 P.M. They give us another chance to pray during worship so I make my way down the aisle. I feel eyes on me but I don't care. I go to the alter closest to me and kneel down, close my eyes and just try to feel something. But I don't feel anything. Something's wrong with me. I don't know I just don't feel it. So I get up, and by the time I do, the last song has ended. All of the counselors start escorting everyone back to their cabins.

I am last to shower, since Max scares me and, frankly, so does Dottie. When I get out I go directly to my bed and close my eyes, thinking about Robin, and Barb. Then I remember what that Vicky girl said, and my blood starts to boil. I lay there for an hour, staring at the ceiling until I calm down and eventually the anger fades and I'm able to fall asleep.