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That was the first band you listened to that i recommended. Apocalypse is your favorite song. Every time we're together, you always say, "music?" and this is the first song you play for us. Then you play other ones and every-time a song ends, we listen to the dumb ads and skip them and play a song again. We laugh or chuckle every time.
We listen quietly. Cuddling, or hugging each other. Rubbing each other's waist, backs, necks, arms, or legs. Sometimes holding hands or lose fingers. At times, cupping each other's cheeks, admiring our faces towards each other. Kissing, pecking our noses. Cheeks. Forehead. Necks. Chins, and lips.
And we also listen quietly, without doing anything. No kissing, no pecks, no rubs. Just bodies close together, in the quietness. Our presence being each other's comfort. Sometimes looking up or down to see one-another's face. Sometimes pulling each other closer, and sometimes closing our eyes.
And sometimes. We listen quietly with tears. With sadness, and those moods. We'll tear up, and cry silently. I'll look up at you every now and then, and you'll notice and look at me. I stare at you. Your eyes, and i don't look away. You always say your eyes are blue, or green or brown. But they're grey to me. I'll look at your eyes, sometimes they have tears, sometimes they have pain in them. And sometimes sadness. When we overthink, and talk about our feelings the night before or the day before, your eyes still remember and feel the moment we talked about something. And i'll ask you, "are you okay?"
After 2-3x times, you finally say, "no." Because i know you're not okay. I don't force you to talk about how you feel or what you're thinking, because you automatically tell me whether you know or don't. I will never ever, and never have judged you for not knowing how to explain things. Never.
And sometimes you cry, or sit there in silence, while i hold you. I'll run my fingers through your hair, caress your face with my hand. Peck your forehead, and cheek. And do my best to comfort you, even if you don't want to talk. Because.
