Brotherly Reflections

One-shot

Ace was gazing at the stars visible from the window when he heard a sleepy, tearful voice call, "Sabo..." and he looked over at the speaker. Poor kid. It was rare he let himself feel sympathy for his 'little brother' — the kid was too tenacious to allow much sympathy — but Luffy seemed to really be struggling with Sabo's loss.

Ace was, too, of course. Sabo had been his only friend for a long while, had earned his trust and loyalty over and over, without the obnoxious antics Luffy had needed. Sabo had been Ace's brother long before they'd shared sake. He'd been the only one to understand his need to escape to the sea, his need to be a 'Portgas' and not a 'Gol'. He had thought, when Sabo went back to his family, that the blond had understood that if he hated it, all he had to do was get a message out and Ace would be there to get him back. That Sabo's choice to try to protect him and Luffy did not undermine their brotherly bond. Ace would've dealt with the consequences, would've figured something out.

Instead, Sabo had left to go to sea, early and alone. And had picked the wrong damn day to do it, crossing in front of one of those cursed "Celestial Dragons".

The thought still made Ace's anger boil. He understood Dadan's words about being careful about them, understood how powerful they were. None of that stopped him from wanting to kill them all for what one had done to Sabo.

He remembered the way Luffy had cried at getting the news, and some part of him wondered if the brat would cry like that if it had been Ace on that boat. Probably not, he decided, even if Luffy was a crybaby and had been upset to see Ace tied to the tree. Sabo was the nice brother. The encouraging one. The smart one who could answer at least some of Luffy's endless questions. The one with better manners, who would stop the fights from going too far. The one who'd patch the kid up when he did something stupid. The first one to believe in Luffy's resolution not to tell those jerks where Ace and Sabo had hidden their 'savings'.

Whereas Ace was the violent, crude, 'rub some dirt in it' brother who frustrated and antagonized Luffy. Challenged him. Hell, Ace had spent months running from and avoiding the kid. He glanced back over to Luffy's sleeping form.

Sabo was the brother Luffy would need to grow up well. And Sabo was gone. Which meant Ace would need to fill his shoes. Or at least try to.

He'd need to learn manners, at least some basics. And probably first aid. Strategy and tactics and a few other odds and ends. And then he'd need to increase his training so that he'd always be able to protect Luffy.

He'd be the big brother Luffy needed. For Sabo's sake.

—--- Approximately 10 years later, Sabo's POV —---

Sabo shook as he read the paper again. It'd been two days since he'd woken up with his memories back, and he still couldn't believe it. Ace, his sworn brother, was dead. And Sabo had let himself forget about him and Luffy for years, had never fully pursued the wisps of memory that had sometimes taunted him.

Luffy. Luffy had been there, had seen that final blow. Ace had died in their crybaby brother's arms. And as devastated as Sabo was, Luffy had to be a thousand times more so.

Sabo wanted to go to him, to be brothers again and protect him. Unfortunately, no one knew where he was. Ivankov, at his last checkin, had assured them that there was no way "that stubborn child" was dead, though his injuries had been severe. Sabo agreed. The death of 'Straw Hat' would've been reported across the world. But where he was hiding, what he was doing since his showy little tribute, no one seemed to know. Even when Nico Robin agreed to support the Revolutionaries for the time being, she could offer no information. She'd only say, sadly, that the Straw Hats had been forcefully separated.

Maybe she might've been more forthcoming if Sabo had mentioned that they were brothers. But he wasn't sure Luffy would even still consider them brothers, not when Sabo was alive, ten years after his brothers would've assumed he was dead. If he appeared in front of Luffy, would he even be glad to see Sabo? Or would he wonder, like Sabo had these last couple days, why Sabo was alive when Ace wasn't? Why Sabo hadn't come to Ace's rescue when he'd needed it?

Would he be as quick to forgive as he had been as a child? He'd been SEVEN the last time Sabo had seen him. Who knows how he would've changed?

Sabo understood that the memory loss wasn't really his fault, that there was nothing he could've done to speed up the recovery that he hadn't tried, but he cursed it nonetheless. If he'd gotten his memories back sooner, he could've at least joined in the attempt to save Ace. Could've caught up with them both sooner, seen Luffy growing up and mastering the techniques he'd shown as he'd fought in Impel Down, in Marineford.

Luffy had grown up without Sabo there. Even now, Sabo wasn't the brother Luffy was needing most. Luffy needed Ace's fierceness, his competitive fighting spirit, his protectiveness, his snark. His decisiveness and the ease with which he jumped into action. That was how Luffy had gotten through everything that had come at him before. But Ace wasn't there to provide that. Not anymore.

Sabo would see Luffy again, once his little brother resurfaced. He'd explain. Apologize. Re-swear brotherhood and offer himself as protection. And in the meantime, he'd become the brother Luffy needed. He'd put the word out that he was looking for the Flare-flare fruit, too. Ace's strength, his legacy. Sabo would embrace it all.

He'd get even stronger so that he could be the brother Luffy needed. For Ace's sake.