Bittersweet (Jay ff)

00 Prologue

There was the usual chattering around the restaurant. Middle-aged men babbling loudly, women gossiping, school students glued to their smartphones, waiters serving and then there was our table. Even though we ordered non-alcoholic beverages, they seemed quite drunk.

It was a normal atmosphere here but it was precious to me. The moment felt alive. I felt alive. Normally, no one would pay attention to all these small moments but when the life hit you like a bulldozer, every moment would matter.

"Silence!!" The team leader shouted. "I'm awfully sad that our beloved Moon Young is resigning but at the same time, I feel happy for her. She'll finally get some rest from this awful team. I'll pay today since this will be your last team dinner." He said as he wiped a non-existent tear away from his cheek.

Yays and whoas filled the room.

"He sure is quite honest." Ari rolled her eyes. "Eat up! Eat up! Don't hesitate since he's the one who's paying. I'll stuff some of this in my lunch box. Tomorrow's dinner is sorted out." She said as she started fill her lunch box with meat.

She does have a point, I should eat to my fullest but I feel uneasy. Maybe because someone is burning a hole in my head.

I looked in the direction where the stare is coming from. Park. Jong. Seong. This man has been giving me mixed signals since day one. Someday he'll act kind*, and someday he'll act like you don't even exist.

(*by kind she meant normal since this guy dgaf about anyone's existence.)

"I'm gonna go and get some fresh air." I excused myself but no one heard me. As expected. They're all busy stuffing their mouths with free food. It's a rare when team leader pays for our meal. I took the hint and grabbed my belongings and quietly left the busy restaurant.

the environment was different outside compared to the restaurant's busy life. High schoolers were walking around in groups. Other youngsters, who might be in their early 20's were excited to party since it was Saturday night.

The cold wind hit my bare arms knocking me back to my senses. Shit! I forgot my coat in there. There's no way I'm going back in. They'll force me to eat and I'll have to forcefully laugh at the team leader's awful jokes.

I walked a bit and sat on the nearest seat. The sky looked so pretty today. Maybe it looked like this everyday but I was the fool who didn't bother to look at this serene view. The stars gleamed brightly but the moon outshined everyone.

"Moon's looking pretty today." A manly voice startled me. I looked over my shoulder and found Jay aka Park Jong Seong. He walked over in front of me.

"Ah- Yea, You're right. But what are you doing here?"

"Shouldn't I be asking you the same?" His raised his eyebrows. "What are you doing here? Shouldn't you be in there? Since it's your farewell party?"

"Well, some particular someone had been burning a hole on my head with their stare. It made me feel uneasy." I aimed at him.

"Aren't you cold?" He looked at my bare arms completely changing the topic.

Yes.

"No. Not at all." I lied blatantly.

"Those goosebumps say otherwise though."

"Oh! These??" I looked at my arm. "I get goosebumps everywhere. Summer or winter, it doesn't matter." I forced a smile. Even a pre schooler can lie better than me.

"Quit lying around and wear this." He passed me my coat. "Wanna walk around?"

"B-but the dinner?" Not like I care and not like they care either.

"Oh, that? Ignore it, they didn't even notice you were gone." He glanced over the almost noisy traffic. "Wanna walk around?" He asked again.

I sighed.

"Fine. Let's walk around." I surrendered.

/\/\/\/\

"So, why you're resigning? Don't tell me the team leader has been bullying you or something." He looked worried. There you go, again that worried look, but as soon as I try to talk, he'd ignore me for the whole week.

"No. Nothing like that. I just feel like life's quite short. I should enjoy myself instead of working like a donkey." I looked away.

"Life's short? Are you sick?? Are you hurt somewhere???"

"Can you stop acting like you're worried when you don't even care about a single thing about me? " I was annoyed. I should be annoyed.

"I'm not acting. I am worried." He said, which I think was sincere. But, I'll be honest, he's a good actor. He should be an actor. And with his looks... Yea he can pass as an actor.

Breathe in.
Breathe out.

Breathe in.
Breathe out.

Should I tell him? Or should I just lie again? But that won't be a good idea since I can't lie even if my life's on the line. Well, I wanted to take this secret to my grave. If I tell him, then he'll take it to his grave too since he has no friends. Harsh, but true. I never saw him conversing with anyone like friends. It was always in a formal way.

"If I tell you, then promise me you won't tell to anyone. If you do I'll haunt you all your life and even after you're dead. I'll make your life a living hell." Blackmailing him like this should work.

"Did you kill someone? Or robbed a bank? Why a secret?" He looked at me with a suspicious look, taking a step back.

"WHAT?!? NO!" I exclaimed. "What did you take me for?"

Murder someone? Me? Pfft- I can't even kill a spider.

"So you didn't murder anyone, right?" He still had that look. That suspicious look.

"You wanna know or not?" I frowned.

"I'm just joking around, you can tell me." He looked at me attentively, just like a cat. Cute.

I looked away to hide my smile.

"I have a serious heart issue. I'll get a surgery in a few months. Doctors said the chances of me surviving were 30/100." I paused to look at him. He looked sad. "So that's why I'm trying to live like a human with whatever time I'm left with." I kept it brief.

"You will leave..." He said quietly. He looked sad. Why though? All he did was ignore me since the day I stepped into the company. Why he's suddenly acting like this? Is he feeling guilty? Everyone feels guilty for the sick. He better quit this act before I act up.

Before I could say anything I caught a glimpse of a tear on his cheek. His face was expressionless. He was quiet. But the tears didn't stop falling. I quickly started rummaging through my purse to find the small tissue pack I always keep. I pulled it out but something fell right in front of his shoes.

Shit.

He knelt and picked it up before I could even react. He unfolded it and folded it back after 5 seconds. Did he read all of that? In 5 seconds?

"Are you gonna give that to me, or..." He looked at my hand.

"Oh yeah. There you go." I handed him the tissue and he returned that piece of paper.

He wiped off the tears and didn't utter a word.

I hate this silence.

"Please say something. I hate this silence." I broke the silence. He was so damn serious. He read my stuff not the otherwise! I should look that serious!

"Do you want me to help you tick all the boxes in your to-do list?"