Lacerta Black -- James Potter --

39

Sirius was starting to hate who he had become. Someone filled with fear and anger, wanting nothing more than to right all the wrongs in the world. Ever since his boggart, he felt the strong need to make things right. James was officially allowed to leave his room and agreed to meet up with him in private as long he apologized to Lacerta first. 

He found his sister enjoying the Black Lake with her curls whirling around the wind and James's jumper hanging over her small frame. Some books laid by her side as well as a bowl full of fruit that was untouched. Sirius remembered how she used to sit by the window at night when they were young - before they got sorted into different houses. 

He sniffled slightly, but his eyes remained dry. Sirius used to be like a father to his younger siblings. Bringing them food when they were locked away in their rooms, making sure they looked presentable before a ball, and taking all the hits he could so that they were safe. He knew that somewhere along the way he had begun to hate them for it. For the way they looked to him when they were in trouble, and he just had to help them. 

So, he began to subtly replace the special hold they had on his heart. His new family consisted of James, Remus, Peter, Mary, Marlene, and Lily. He resented Slytherins because they were the reason he flinched whenever his friends tried to hug him or how he woke up at night in a cold sweat. Still, his siblings hung around him. They were friends with his friends - his family. 

Lacerta looked just like Walburga. Regulus too. 

They were reminders and wouldn't go away.

So. . . he left. He left them behind and he wanted to leave his whole family behind because he couldn't take it. No one blamed him for leaving. He was a child in a difficult situation. Still, he was the bad guy for leaving his siblings behind and he accepted that because it was a shit thing to do. He just wanted to escape them.

Then, suddenly, James was always going after Lacerta. There were the blushes, the staring, the whispering. He was quite obvious that his new brother fancied the girl that used to be his sister. Sirius pretended that he didn't notice, it was easy to accept that way. There was no denying it when they had rescued Regulus and Lacerta from that hellhole.

He remembered feeling guilty when he was watching them slowly die. Sirius would live the most wonderful life because he would have all the money, the houses, the elves, and none of his family would be alive to remind him of the trauma he had to endure growing up. So, he felt so incredibly guilty.

When they had been cured, he felt relieved and for once, he saw his little siblings again. Everything was right as they still got into little arguments in their small home together, but his friends visited frequently (especially James), and they were finally a family. Everything was going so splendidly well. 

As soon as Regulus left, Sirius knew that he was a failure this time. He must've done something. It was while he was laying down that a new thought corrupted his memories. His entire family were Slytherins, and they were horrible, awful people. Regulus left because the House manipulated him into being what he was destined to be. A Death Eater.

So, Sirius tried to save himself from the hurt once more. He pushed Lacerta away. He shoved her presence as far as he could so that he wouldn't feel that same awful heartache again. He couldn't stand to lose his sister like he had his brother. 

He didn't mean to push everyone away in the process. His pain presented itself as anger and he tried to save James from it too. Sirius didn't mean to make him sick in the process. To make James a punching bag for his grief. 

He was going to do better.

"Hey," he sat down next to her, wincing when she wouldn't even look his way. She kept her gaze on the gentle waters. "I came to say that I'm sorry - and before you interrupt, let me finish. I've been a terrible brother to you for some time now. I can't take back what I did, but I want to try better."

Her eyebrows furrowed as she looked down at her lap. "I used to have this fantasy that you would walk me down the aisle. That we would have finally escaped all the prejudice as soon as we walked over the threshold between Grimmauld and the entire world. I know that's never going to happen."

He was startled when she looked at him because it wasn't Walburga looking back. It was Lacerta with her gentle gray eyes, whose features were softer than their mother's and full of warmth. She continued, "Getting out of Grimmauld didn't suddenly make the world a better place. People try not to mess with me because I'm James Potter's girlfriend, but I see people hexing Slytherins and I see Death Eaters cursing muggleborns."

"Lacey--"

"Wait," she stopped him. "Notice how I said Death Eaters? Most of them may be Death Eaters, but I want to see the good in the world. I see younger Slytherins, walking up to me and wondering if they weren't meant to be in our House because they don't see muggleborns as wrong or they themselves have muggles in their family. I have to comfort the baby Slytherins that can't even walk to the Great Hall without someone trying to trip them for being evil."

Sirius was startled to find a tear had leaked out of the corner of his eye. "I didn't know about all of that."

"I know," she said calmly. "And I think life is too short to be mad at you any longer. That doesn't mean I'm not still hurt."

"Can I hug you?" Sirius asked, only to be wrapped in the best embrace. One that definitely made the top three. The other two belonging to Euphemia Potter and Remus Lupin. "I'm so sorry. I'll never stop feeling sorry."

"It's alright," her voice was muffled, and he was sure that he was cutting off her circulation by how tight he was holding onto her. They were startled when another set of arms wrapped around the two of them.

"I just love it when we all get along," James said with watery eyes. He was immediately tackled by Sirius.

"I'm so sorry, Prongs," Sirius clung to the other boy as if he was going to suddenly disappear. "I was a dick for taking all of my anger out on you. I was upset about Regulus and I'm stupid for not knowing how to just be sad. I got angry and I'm so sorry."

"I forgive you, Sirius," He beamed up at his best mate. "Can't really hold it against you honestly."

"You're too good for this world," Sirius said with a grateful look in his eyes. Sirius Black couldn't feel whole without James Potter by his side.

"Should I give you two some alone time to reacquaint?" Lacerta teased with a waggle of her brows. 

"That'd be great. Thanks!" Sirius joked as he leaned in to kiss James, who had also jokingly leaned in causing them to accidently kiss. They both jumped away from each other gagging.

"Liz! I need you to kiss me to cleanse my lips," James tried to dramatically fall on her, but she moved away with a small laugh. Sirius was trying to scrub his mouth with the freezing cold lake water. When he looked up, he saw how Lacerta's eyes crinkled with love and the way James practically tripped over his feet when he saw his jumper on her. 

This was right. For once, he felt right. Content. A bit of his heart was missing - taken when Regulus left and when Remus had finally decided that they were done once and for all - but he knew that he could be happy with the family he had now.