At Least Pretend To Love Me

1. Never Say Never

±3000 Words

Parents who say they have no favorites are liars, Tommy knew that much. Phil was a great example. No, he never straight up told Tommy that he hated him, but he would always show it.

When Tommy was four, he proudly brought home a painting he made at school. He expected Phil to like it and hang it up on the fridge, just like he always does with his older brother's works or high test scores. But Phil just took it from him, looked at it and handed it back without a word.

Tommy didn't directly understand why Phil didn't hang it up, praised him or just said anything. He assumed Phil didn't like the drawing, so he practiced for hours on end until his poor little hands started to cramp.

Phil never hung anything Tommy made up for anyone to see.

When Tommy was six, school called his dad to inform him that Tommy was sick and needed to be picked up. Contrary to what Tommy had expected, Phil had actually shown up. However, when they got home Phil scolded him for wasting his time.

Howeverwhenever Techno or Wilbur were sick he'd get all worried and take care of them, get them ice cream, let them watch tv on the couch, or make them chicken soup.

Tommy hated chicken soup, but he couldn't stop wishing that his father would've done the same for him.

When Tommy was eight, he got his first 100% score on a really hard English test. He had mentioned it the evening before, how hard he had studied, but Phil didn't bat an eye. Wilbur, on the other hand, came to Tommy's room that evening and told him that he was proud of him.

Tommy simply thanked Wilbur before watching him leave his room. He could hear Wilbur's guitar playing as their rooms were right next to each other. He could also hear Phil coming in and praising ten year old Wilbur for his skills.

From that moment on Tommy decided that he'd also start practicing music. Phil clearly loved Wilbur for it, so if Tommy did the same maybe Phil could love him too? Even if it was just to get a little bit of love, Tommy would see a little bit of love as enough. It would be more than he had received so far.

When Tommy was ten, he had his first piano recital. He had practiced for days on end in the school's music classroom. Yes, they did have a piano at home but he wanted to surprise Phil with what he had learned.

He had mentioned that he had been practicing piano to Phil so many times but he never seemed to care. But when the evening rolled around and Tommy looked into the audience, trying to spot his family. He only saw Techno and Wilbur with an empty seat next to them.

Sure, he'd played his heart out, everyone applauded him, Wilbur and Techno even standing up and cheering for their little brother, but it just didn't feel right. His dad, The man who raised him, the man who was supposed to love him unconditionally didn't come and watch. When Techno and Wilbur took Tommy home, he directly went to look for Phil, finding him on the couch watching some reality show.

That broke Tommy.

For the first time, Tommy realized that Phil didn't love him like his brothers, he never had. Tommy could finally look in the past and recognize that Phil had always been like that. He could recall every moment, every second he had tried to win his father's approval, but never got it.

That evening Tommy went into his older brother's room and just bawled his eyes out into Techno's chest. Wilbur walked in on the scene, a confused Techno and a sobbing Tommy. He had asked Techno what was going on but he was just as clueless. Eventually Tommy calmed down and managed to get some words out. The words stung as they fell out of his mouth. Shocking both of the boys.