The Infinite YA Playlist

Style

"'Cause you got that James Dean daydream look in your eye

And I got that red lip classic thing that you like" - Style by Taylor Swift

It wasn't the negative comment that bothered me. As a plus size girl blogging about fashion, I'm used to these comments. And I know that posting on the internet about anything opens you wide open to negativity and, hey, I'm a big girl I can take criticism.

My skin is thicker than my thighs.

You can talk about how fat I am and should I be wearing that much make up? Or god, your boyfriend is ugly. Or why is your boyfriend with someone like you? Or you dropped out of university and now you're doing what? You still live with your mum and dad?

Seriously, I have an oblivious nan, a desperate-for-grandchildren mum and four judgemental aunts. You can't say anything I haven't heard before.

Say what you want about my appearance but don't you dare question my style knowledge.

Which is what this bastard did.

Hey, I like your blog, it's nice. Just saw that you did a post on men's fashion. Don't mean to be sexist or anything, but maybe you should stick to women's stuff. Bit more in your ballpark, eh? LOL.

Three things.

My blog is nice. Nice? Nice is what you'd call a puppy or a cup of tea after you've been freezing your arse off at a bus stop waiting for a bus that never came. My blog is award-winning four years of hard work, passion, organisation, networking, innovative posts and teaching myself all the technicalities of applying make-up without making you look like an extra in Thriller. My blog is not nice, it's bloody amazing.

Second thing, this comment was sent by Tommie G, the guy who reinvented male fashion blogs. He was always at the award ceremonies, dressed immaculately, looking like someone who'd just stepped out of a daydream from pretty much any straight woman with a pulse. Apart from his own blog, you never really knew anything about him. He never commented on other people's stuff but he'd get about fifty comments on his. He was a big deal.

And that made me even more angry.

Women's fashion and men's fashion are pretty separated but we're still within the same field. We're a supportive field. Usually. It stings a little to have a fellow fashion blogger being so dismissive.

And thirdly, and this is the real kicker: LOL.

LOL?

Come on.

I didn't reply to the comment because I'm better than that but I did fume for a few days. My roommate rolled her eyes as I tore through the living room one day. In my huff, I managed to knock a glass of water off the living room table. I stopped and took a deep breath.

My eyes caught Jane's and she looked at me in exasperation.

"Hannah, you're great at what you do, why are you letting this guy bother you?" she asked.

"I'm fine with people having an opinion. They could think I'm the crappest fashion blogger with the worst fashion sense and..."

"The leopard and zebra combo?" interrupted Jane.

"I uh..." I puffed out my cheeks and scowled. "Hey, I looked cute!"

"Just an opinion."

"I refuse to take the opinion of someone who wears yoga pants on a regular basis."

"They're comfy!" Jane protested.

"There are only two reasons someone should be wearing yoga pants," I announce. "Yoga and when you're binge watching Netflix series."

"Anyway," she continues. "I just don't get why you're storming around and getting all stressed out about this guy when this whole thing could be settled in about a month or so."

I raised an eyebrow.

"How?"

"Prove it."

"Prove it?"

"Prove that you can do it better than him."

I grin, suddenly getting it.

"And beat him at his own game?"

Jane nodded.

"And beat him at his own game."

***

I never thought I'd be the person who could tell you what the difference between a penny collar and a finger collar was or how to see if a guy's jeans were cut correctly but well...

Five months later, From Another Mister was ranked number six on "Must Read Fashion Blogs". And I loved every minute of it. I possibly loved it as much as I loved my original fashion blog. To be honest, it wasn't all that different. Aesthetic maybe, but not the style.

I never hid that I was a woman writing about men's fashion but I didn't broadcast it. I've never really believed that fashion has a gender and it was quite liberating removing sex from my writing. Also, I got to sign off as 'H'. Mysterious, eh? I've always wanted to be an anonymous blogger.

I got home from work one night and grabbed a beer from the fridge, taking off my coat and kicking off my heels. My laptop was already out and Jane wasn't getting home for another half an hour so I thought I'd check some comments until we started our Netflix session. Yoga pants at the ready.

I had a few comments, which is always nice. There's nothing more nerve wracking than first posting stuff on the internet and not having anyone comment on it for a while. I swear I have no idea how many times I deleted my first post on FAM when it didn't get any comments.

There was a young lad who wanted to interview me for his university coursework and I shot off a quick reply telling him to send me through the questions and I'll reply as soon as possible. A girl wanted to know whether it would be OK if she was alright to wear a bow tie or whether she'd look stupid. I grinned and sent her a picture of Janelle Monae (with an added link of Q.U.E.E.N because... well it's Janelle Monae).

The last one I got to made me stop though. A familiar chiselled face looked back at me; his eyes cool and sharp. Tommie G.

I took a deep breath.

What now?

Hey mate, what's going on? Just wanna say I love your blog, seriously it's great. Hope to catch you at the MFA's next month. Maybe we could talk about a collab or something? Keep it up.

I couldn't help the feel of smugness and I allowed myself to wrap myself in it for a moment. Oh this is going to be good.

I flexed my fingers against the keyboard, the blue of my nails looking striking against the black. For about ten minutes I wanted to draft my reply. A really scathing reply. Something sarcastic. Maybe a picture of me holding my award for 'Best Newcomer' at this year's blogging award. Waiting a few weeks and sending him a photo at the Men's Fashion Awards, invited on my own and not as someone's girlfriend.

Sure it started as payback; a perfectly manicured middle finger up to his mindless and dismissive sexism but as it developed and I realised that I actually loved doing it, I didn't want to cheapen it. I'd worked hard to establish myself as a voice in men's fashion, attending courses, poring over multiple editions of GQ (such a hardship), grilling every male I've ever met and their partners and writing the best and most interesting content that I possibly could.

Hi, sounds good. Keep me updated and we can sort something out.

Revenge may be a trend every now and again but proving to yourself that you can do things that other people don't believe you can... I don't think that ever goes out of style.