Larry ones-shots

Why am i like this?

Loud breathing. That's all I hear in this empty room. Sniffles. Muffled sobs. I ask myself how did it come to this. But the truth is.. I don't know.
~

*phone ringing*
Bzzz.. bzzz.. bzzz.. bz-

"Morning boo bear" Jay says instantly as her call is answered. "Morning." I mumbled back, tiredness in my voice.

"Get up for school, you've already missed three days in a row." I just stay silent, pointing my camera to the ceiling. "Louis? Did you hear me. You better go to school you know you can't afford to miss so many days, we're going on vacation soon." My mom continues talking, but still I say no words just staring at her through my phone.

"Ok." I finally mumble out with no emotion in my voice. I hang up almost immediately after, not wanting to talk anymore.

I don't get up though. I stay on my phone, doing whatever there is to do on there. It's 7:53 am right now and I have to be at school by 8:30 am.

I'm currently staying at my nans house, have been for the past 3 months. Why? I don't know. I guess because I'm not bothered here, no siblings yelling all day - great food - and time to think about life.

I'm cut of my thoughts by my nan coming in my room. "Louis," I look at her with tired eyes, "you going to school today?" She asks me. I stare at her for a moment before shaking my head no.

"Does you mum know?" She asks with raised eyebrows, mouth slightly tilted to the side. I just shrug my shoulders as an answer before going back to my phone.

She sighs, staying there for a moment before walking out the door, closing it shut behind her.

It'll be 8:30 in 17 minutes. I hear the house phone go off. I already know who it is. My mum. Calling about me; if I'm getting ready for school or not. It's been like this for the past 2 weeks. I missed three days last week and the whole week before that. I know my mum is tired of my behavior, but it's not my fault. I'm tired. In all ways.

I hear muffled speaking the opposite side of my door before it turns silent once again. A few seconds later I get a text from my mum. Expected.

Mummy❤️: We talked about this.

Mummy❤️: You can't keep missing any more days, you're going to miss 5 next month. You already have over 30.
read.

Mummy❤️: ?

Mummy❤️: Whatever, bye.
read.

I stare at the messages for a moment before letting out my tears. I'm a disappointment. I know I am. Why am I even alive.

Loud breathing. That's all you hear in this empty room. Sniffles. Muffled sobs. I ask myself how did it come down to this. But the truth is.. I don't know.

( ⚠️TW⚠️ Self harm! )

I get up from my bed to go to the connecting bathroom. I go through the sink cabinets searching for my razor. I found it in the back where I hid it.

I stand back up, putting my left arm over the sink. I make the first cut on my wrist. Relief. Relief is what I get through my body. A bit of pain but I'm used to it. I do a three more cuts on my arm, wincing through my clenched teeth before I clean up.

Deciding to finally brush my teeth, I grab my green tooth brush. Green. My lip twitches at the thought of him.

Breaking out of my thoughts I start brushing my teeth. Once I'm done I take a shower. I cry while I shower. Not surprised.