Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
CHIFUYU MATSUNO, FTM READER.
STAR GIRLS SHINES BRIGHTLY, matrix veins flowing with liquid gold as she finds herself drowning in her tears. her papery skin burns & burns, a feeling of unknown crawling on her skin. she can feel it; she can feel the way her heart contradicts her mind & she can practically hear it. uncanny thoughts running through her head, view muffled as her tears add to the fresh morning dew. a cloak of darkness wraps her figure into an unfathomable void of spiraling savagery. feasting upon her mind, calamity breaks her resolution until she starts rending off at the seams.
aching cries drop from her honey lips, unclean hands pray for help; feeble whimpers fall upon deaf ears as poison ivy is shoved down her throat & goes straight to her marshmallow heart. the very body the gods had masterfully created for her suddenly feels like a mold of thorned roses & vines, slowly sucking the air out of her & it feels hard to breathe. her body feels more like a curse rather than a blessing as she gets drunk on ambrosia; perhaps this can take her pain away. feeble hands pull her body closer as her heartbeat starts to rise when suddenly a knock is heard from the door. "n/n? is everything okay in there?"
there it is; she can hear the voice of an angel & suddenly, she sees the world through rose-colored lenses. his voice spills out sweet nectar & she finds herself drinking it all up. there he stands in all his glory, chifuyu matsuno. his eyes are soft & his voice is laced with worry as he rushes over to his hurting star girl. he swiftly walks over to her bed, placing a hand on her shoulder. "hey, hey, n/n, what's wrong? i'm here; talk to me." chifuyu matsuno opens her breaking heart & he sows it back up with unbreakable strings of love. he takes her hand in his as he rubs circles over it.
"what were you doing? why are you up?" her voice is hoarse & raspy, clearing her throat as she tries to steer away from the topic. "i was up late finishing some work for my class, but i took a break & with the quiet in the apartment, i thought i heard you crying & came here to check on you myself. you don't have to tell me what's wrong if you don't want to, but please know that i'm here for you, n/n." she can tell that he wants to know what's bothering her, but star girl still finds herself unable to open up.
he's always been like this; putting others before himself, cotton candy eyes always filled with love & affection. chifuyu was someone star girl could always depend on. he was there when her cat had died (she clearly remembers him making a small shrine for her cat), when she had failed her trigonometry exam (it was one of the most important ones of the year & chifuyu had tried his best to help her study while being so patient), when her partner had broken up with her (looking back at it, she was really foolish to have fallen for someone like them), & so many other times.
chifuyu was always there for her & she knew she could tell him everything. but not now. ebony locks frame his face, as his eyes stare right into hers. he refuses to move away from her, but how could she tell him? "have you ever... felt like your body is not your own? like you were born into the wrong body?" chifuyu furrows his brows, "no, i haven't... but i'm willing to listen to what you feel, n/n." with pursed lips, she sits up, looking down at her hands. "i don't think this is what i'm supposed to be, 'fuyu. i can't stand my body; just the image of it in the mirror makes me so sick of myself. even as a small child i haven't felt like i was in the right body & i tried so fucking hard to forget about this, but i can't. i can't continue pretending that i'm a girl, that i'm fine with having people see me as a girl. i want to be seen as who i really am; a boy."
her voice is dripping with bitter coffee & resentment, her hand clutching into a fist as moon tears fall from her eyes. chifuyu watches as she breaks & captures her in a hug. "you don't have to suffer alone. it must be scary, having to hold all of this in for so long. but now you won't have to. you have me & so many other people who will be here for you. we'll support you, i promise. you're my prince. i'll never stop showing you how much i love you. no matter who you choose to be, i'll be here, i promise."
star girl sheds her skin like a slithering viper, basking in the warmth of lazarus' flames as she is suddenly reborn. metamorphosis; star girl turns into star boy, & suddenly he feels right at home. changing forms has never felt so relieving; his wings start to form & moondust falls from his cheeks as he embraces what he has known all along. star boy eats from the forbidden fruit & he has never felt more free. shackles turn to rust & break as he feels the sweetness of being at ease with himself. he's chifuyu's newborn star boy; y/n knows it & chifuyu matsuno knows it too.
WRITTEN BY ― alex <3 A/N ― no, this totally isn't me & my feelings of gender dysphoria hahaha wtf are you talking about.
