Chapter 1: When it started

99 4 0
                                    


Love. What other most beautiful thing other than love? Nothing. It is something that you cannot really deny on your doorstep even if you say you don't want it. Eventually you become desperate to know that feeling so badly that you even scroll around the internet what that moment feels to be with someone you love the most. But sometimes.. i wonder if it is really worth it after all the hardships you try to make chemistry out of someone that you really wish to be with?  Is it worth the TIME to try and confess your feelings? I don't think so. I believe that is shit. Like you fall for someone you be with them fir months or years feeling connected to you loved one but then all of a sudden you heart breaks into fragile pieces because your partner doesn't feel the same anymore. Then you break up then become their ex. There is no point being with someone when they will shatter your petty little feelings they didn't even care for? I really wonder why it goes the same for Bosip. He's in love with his best friend who is oblivious from ever move he frickass makes. I didn't know he would last this long just for love. We talked about it many times of his emotions and understanding the reason he's still clinging on to him like a duckling following their mom. Bosip made a ton of excuses with his reasons. I was done by him but the other half of me wanted to hear more. I guess I was desperate after all. And i was right.

By the time I was on the couch with my laptop typing away Boder walked passed me then went to the tables where Bobot was eating his spaghetti. He kissed him on the cheek without any warning then walked away like nothing had happened. Bobot was just in pure shock and froze, it was as if it was meant to kept secret. He looked around after processing Boder's move and I pretended that I was concentrated in my game. I never forgotten that, I felt myself spacing out for a while then going back to reality all dizzy. I went to my room to rest a bit but as I start going through what I saw I couldn't stop thinking about it. It annoyed me like shit's ever seen. I passed out sleep tired of thinking too much. I couldn't handle it any longer. When I woke up it was 1am, I decided to take a stroll outside the cold. It was nicer there and it relaxed my head, it was nice then inside. I looked up in the stars glimmering like crazy like glitter. Didn't mind, I was enjoying the view. A while I heard something, I got up and walked inside looking away to see who was awake. I found the two again talking before laughing. 



I felt alone. The atmosphere grew grim and darkness spread but a light was shown bright at me. I looked down on and I was into my deep thoughts. Negativity spread through my head like wildfire. Why can't I be like the rest? Why do I snap a lot? Why do I envy? This wasn't how I planned for this.. I JUST WANT TO BE NORMAL IS IT THAT HARD TO ASK?! If I wasn't acting like some fucking bitch who slacks maybe I'd be the person I'd always wished to be but no. I have to suffer in deep.fucking.pain.



My head is starting to get loopy. I need to get to sleep. Screw you Boder. I'll make sure I am better than you. You will be replaced by me.

 I'll make sure you won't sleep a tinsel bit. That will make you learn to know your place.

Ever since Boder hooked him up I was in flames. I had courage to talk in the park but it was declined right after he hold him by the hand in Minecraft. Mining away until a hoard of zombies came when you make an explosion. Boder sweeped Bobot into his arms whilst running away fast. I saw it all. That's how the connection happened. That's how you both became close. Envy and jealousy enveloped. It flooded my brain. It hurts. 

Why do I envy? I shouldn't care.. BalbotderWhere stories live. Discover now