they say if you cry hard enough, you won't hear their footsteps- walking away. but it's been almost a week, the faucets behind your eyes are totally drained out. those red eyes sunk deep in great hollow sockets, looked corpse-like, already dead. your throat burns from cursing blasphemously, you're just irreparably damaged.
you still can't figure out why you tend to make homes out of people who make motels out of you. your whole life is ravaged by the fire they lit up, the smell of the smoke still hangs in the air all day every day, reminding you of life's impermanence.
it's such a vicious cycle; you let people in, they settled down and moments later, they leave. until you've gotten to the point where you started to build armor around your heart and walls around yourself, thought you could save yourself from the hurt.
but then there's always this someone who'll make you think that it's okay to let down your guards, to take the risks.
watching people leave especially those whom you've loved, there's something almost evil, something spine-chilling that macabre contrast to with what you've been preparing. it's a sight to make a person doubt their sanity, to leave one stupefied, to leave one speechless.
letting go won't be easy but it doesn't have to be hard either. when someone who plays a vital role in your life is gone, they leave a vast hole, an empty void inside of you. regardless who they were- a friend, a lover, or a family member. but it's ultimately up to you to either fill up the void with joy or let the void perpetually echoes with memories of the goners.
filling up the void is equally important as to living your life to the fullest. bcs we all know that life will throw curve balls at you unremittingly and it's up to you to either swing the bat or to go back to the bench.
the ball is in your court.
