It's Always Been You

four

-serena powers-

Were they expecting anyone? I look into everyone eyes, trying, praying, that they were expecting someone. Mama looks a little pale and she staring my Papa down with anger and confusion. Ryder has pulled out his gun since the front door opened, and so has Papa. My stomach is churning uncomfortably and I feel the color drain from my face as Ivan speaks.

"Serena, baby? You here?" Oh, god. I have to throw up. Before Ryder and Papa dart out of the room they make eye contact with me, silently asking me if I told him to come here. I hurry to shake my head 'no', but they're already gone. I chase after them, adrenaline coursing through my veins. The more I look at the scene in front of me, the more I feel like I'm being repeatedly punched in my gut. Ryder's holding Ivan's whole body up a couple inches by his forearm while pointing a gun at his temple. Papa is an arms length away from Ivan as he holds his gun to his forehead. Then everything is muffled. My mother's cries are muffled. My Papa's yells are muffled. Ivan laughs are muffled. The only thing I hear is ringing in my head. Then I freeze. After seeing Ivan for the first time in months, its almost bittersweet. I see the loving, caring, I-can-put-up-with-serena's bullshit face. But I also see his dark, dark eyes, looking for something to play with. Seeing him look at me like I'm a toy and not the girl he supposedly "loved" hurts. Slowly, very slowly everything makes it way back to me.

"Serena, please give me a reason not to shoot him in his fucking head." I hear Ryder's voice.. somewhere. Somehow, I ended up on the floor my knees to my chest. "Serena!" He yells, knocking me out of my mind a little bit. He asked me something. What did he ask me... Oh! Yes, give him a reason not to kill my first love.

"Um.." I slowly say, honestly thinking about why not kill him. I don't have any reasons other than because I want to save myself from heartbreak.

"Baby. Tell them how much you'll miss not being able to call me whenever you're feeling real horny." Ivan tries to speak, but it comes out a little weird because he can barely breathe. I slowly stand, anger taking over my body. Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!  The screaming in my head continues as he continues to talk. As he begins to describe the first time we had sex. Without thinking, I grab the gun from my father and shoot Ivan in the shoulder.

"Shut up!" I scream as he lets a yell in agony. He falls to the floor as Ryder drops him. It's like everything gets louder but way more muffled at the same time. Ivan screams in pain. Mama cries of witnessing her only daughter shoot a man. Ryder and Papa questioning to Ivan as to why he was here and then again.. the constant ringing and screaming in my head. I want it all to stop. I take the bottom of the gun and knock him in the head with it, successfully making him pass out. Him, Papa and Ryder all go quiet but Mama continues to cry. I can't help but smile a little. Gosh, that felt good but painful at the same time. He deserved it though.

"Im going home." I say calmly, making everyone look at me with confusion. It's all too much. Too much is happening all at once and I can't take it.

"You're not going anywhere without fucking explaining this mess." Easton walks up to me, a couple of inches apart. "This mess that I have to clean up." He steps into my personal space and I have to resit the urge to shoot him as I hold his gun. I mean, I can taut him. I slowly bring the gun up to his gut, pushing him away from me. He looks down at the gun and then slowly bring his eyes up to me. He lets out a small smile as to say I'm not going to do it. Im not but still.

"Don't even think I won't because this won't be the first time. " I give him one more shove, making him stumble just a little. "I said I'm going home." I look at everyone in the room before turning around and walking back inside the dining room, grabbing my bag. I turn and see Ryder standing in front of me. I didn't even freaking hear the man.