your mother - smexiest woman to walk the earth

how i met your mother

it was a hot morning, much like your mother's smexy body. i was walking towards the local cafe, smiling as i looked at the entrance. sweat was dripping down a woman's mostly exposed body in the smexiest way possible. i jogged towards her with a smirk.

"well hello gorgeous." i said, winking at her. the woman paused.

"do i know you?"

"you don't at the moment, but you'll be screaming my name soon enough."

"hm?"

"uhhh I didn't say anything"

"...okay?"

she said with a confused look before turning towards the counter.
"one coffee please."

'god even the way she orders coffee turns me on like a goddamn thing that turns on 😩😏💦 ' i thought to myself, my smirk widening.

i was obviously making some kind of noise, as she turned around again

"can i help you?"

"yes baby girl help me out"

"what the fuck- i have kids"

"are they home?"

"no- they're at school... why?"

"then nobody has to know"

"uhhh.."

she looked at me with an uncomfortable expression and then turned around, the glare of the sun reflecting off my masculine alpha male biceps too much for her weak mortal eyes.

"noooo, don't go, the fun's just begun, darling."

she looked over at me, obviously interested by the darling part. 

"well... you are rather handsome... c'mon, let's go somewhere more private."

i smiled and grabbed her hand as she started jogging away, leaving her coffee behind.