Triad Written Arcs (OUTDATED)

Midnight Troubles

 Angst | First Person POV | CONTENT WARNING: Themes of murder, envy/jealousy

This is the epilogue to BlackRight: Mad's Perspective, a 6-part comic series Judge made on Reddit. If you'd like to get a better understanding of the story, it's best if you read all of it first.

Part 1:  https://www.reddit.com/r/GachaClub/comments/uzlhra/blackright_mads_perspective_this_might_be_a/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3

Part 2: https://www.reddit.com/r/GachaClub/comments/uzmt13/blackright_mads_perspective_2/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3

Part 3: https://www.reddit.com/r/GachaClub/comments/v0452y/blackright_mads_perspective_3_cw_dark_themes/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3

Part 4: https://www.reddit.com/r/GachaClub/comments/v0v46y/blackright_mads_perspective_4_cw_themes_of_murder/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3

Part 5: https://www.reddit.com/r/GachaClub/comments/v1govf/blackright_mads_perspective_5/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3

Part 6: https://www.reddit.com/r/GachaClub/comments/v2bbir/blackright_mads_perspective_6_cw_mentions_themes/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3

If you have read all that, then sit back, relax, and deal with yours truly's attempt at writing. :')

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(This entire monologue was translated from Onhi.)

I can't sleep. No matter how hard I try, I can't rest. Not after what I've heard. Not after knowing that one of my friends...hate me. Despise me. They wanted me dead, gone forever from this world without a single trace. 

I'm so confused...I'm so scared...

I thought we were nothing but friendly rivals? They do genuinely tick me off sometimes, but those are already over with and forgotten. They apologized for the times they genuinely hurt me, I accepted, and forgot it all in a flash. So why?

Why can't I accept now? 

Why can't I forget now? 

It's flooding my mind...it's clouding my thoughts like a fog. I want to clear all the thoughts...the dark, terrifying thoughts...

I just want to be happy again. I want to be blissfully unaware again.

I'm not even holding my walkie talkie. Why can't I go back? Back to being good old...dumb...stupid Blacklight.

...I'm dumb. I'm stupid.

It's my fault I ended up in this situation. It's my fault that Mad got jealous. If only...if only I hadn't made up that entire plan to kiss Right...if only I wasn't so bold. I was too brave. I fueled the fire...the fire that almost burned me to hell.

I'm so sorry, Right. I'm sorry for being so stupid. I almost got us in danger. I almost got you in danger. I'm a terrible, terrible friend...well, I wanted to be more than that with you...but if it weren't for Mad changing their mind, I would've never gotten that chance.

I hear your voice...but it's not you.

It's all fake. A figment of my imagination.

My mind is trying to cope with all these emotions.

It's not working.

The fake voices aren't working.

They aren't convincing enough.

I just want to sleep in peace.

Please...please save me from my anxieties...

...if there is a God, please help me.