Finding Home: A Novella

July

I had been attending the therapy sessions with Adelaide for a month now. Nothing was happening. I didn't regain a single memory. We sat down in her office once or twice a week.

While I wasn't gaining any recollections, I actually started feeling better. Adelaide's incessant kindness began to bother me less and less. I still felt like I was imposing on the Reid's lives, but I didn't blame myself for my situation anymore. I wasn't sure I would ever forgive my parents for not coming for me, at least not before knowing the story, but I realized that was something I would need to come to terms with on my own.

In addition to the sessions helping my own psyche, my relationship with Adelaide became much less tense. We actually talked to each other now. I began feeling more at home in her house. I trusted her.

Jackson and I started to get along better as well. He became my only real friend in Christiansburg. After that initial outburst, we didn't have any more tension between us– at least I thought we didn't.

We were walking home from the new Marvel movie when it happened

"You don't like action movies?" Jackson was staring dumbfoundedly at me. "How can you not like any action movies? They can be funny, sad, angry, whatever you want! Pick a mood and you got it, wrapped up with a cool battle scene at the end."

"I just feel like they are dull. Battle scenes don't add any emotional value to the movie, all you see is some people hitting each other," I countered.

"That is the exciting part. How are you possibly saying the fights are the dull parts?" Jackson shook his head and continued, "At least you can see them fighting. In books, it's just a bunch of guys talking about fighting."

"In books, you get to see into the minds of the fighters. You see the heartache, the loss, the regret and joy when it's all finally over! The adrenaline becomes something inside your soul. You're a part of the story instead of just a witness. You don't have to pretend you have a place in the story, you just do. You are wanted- a vital piece of a story." I stopped myself, realizing I was yelling, and it wasn't about the book anymore. I spoke again, this time much more softly, "If I can't find a place for myself in the real world, I'll find a place for myself in fiction."

We had stopped walking. I was staring at a crack on the sidewalk. Jackson hadn't looked away from my face yet. Out of the corner of my eye, he looked sad.

"You may not know who your family is, but you have a place." I looked at him as he spoke. "You are wanted."

"No, I have been placed, there is a difference. This isn't my own life, this is yours and Adelaide's. I didn't get to choose to live here. I may be a welcome guest, but I am clearly not wanted or my parents would be here!"
"You know what? You're right. You didn't choose to be here. I get it. Why would you want to be here, with a single mom and her teenage son?" He began to walk away from me but I grabbed his arm.

"Jackson, wait. You know that's not what I meant. I-"

"Isn't it, though?" Jackson swung around to face me. "You still might have someone out there who cares about you. At the very least, you have a possibility for it. Some people aren't so lucky."

"You think I'm lucky?" Hot tears burned my eyes. "I have no memory of home. I have no memory of parents who love you. Right now I am borrowing your mom. She is my guardian, but will never be my family. All I want is parents of my own and you do not get to call me lucky for not knowing who my parents are or what their reasons are for not being here."

"I'm not saying you're lucky. I'm saying you should try to look on the bright side. Stop blaming everyone here- including yourself, by the way- and try to be more optimistic."