The Life of Me

Notice

This is actually supposed to be sung to a tune I made up in my head as I wrote... and it's not even finished. But I wanted to share it, and this is the best place for it to go. So... Wattpad say hello to Notice! (thats the name of the poem thing) 

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It wasn’t too hard to notice,

But it was very hard to see

That nothing you were doing

Had anything to do with me…

Sometimes when I look back,

It doesn’t make me sad.

I realize how close we were

And what I thought we had.

Maybe you thought different.

Maybe I was wrong.

Eventually we made amends,

That’s why I wrote this song.

I couldn’t help but notice,

Whenever I saw you.

Nothing had really changed at all

You weren’t struggling to make it through.

I told myself, I didn’t care.

I lied and said, I’m fine.

I pretended like I didn’t need

You standing by my side.

Finally I broke.

All my strings were cut.

I curled up in the darkness

And I let myself shut…. Down..

Sharp.

Knife.

Pressing it to my skin.

Dark.

Night.

Leaving a cut so thin.

Some.

Times.

I let my thoughts sink in..

They’re not so bad, now and then.

But more often than not, they are.

That is why, when I cut,

I always leave a scar…

But there's too much pain

inside right now

and I need to let it out

some... how...

I cut and I bled

But I couldn’t forget.

I can’t let go.

There’s too much I still regret.

It’s wasn’t too hard to notice,

That what was left of me,

Was a shell of a person,

With not much else to be.

You say you know

What you did to me

Ads you say that you

Felt horribly.

And yet you didn’t

Do anything.

And I only got worse.

I got worse, 

and I became, withdrawn

I got worse, and worse

I could barely hold on.

I can't even tell

you why...

I felt for you,

I talked to you.

But you looked right through me.

I wanted to

Be friends with you.

I guess you couldn’t see.

I didn’t care

That you didn’t spare,

My feelings, not a bit.

Well that’s a lie,

But still I tried.

I wanted you to be..

My friend.

The one..

That I could always count on

I wan..

ted us,

To be like we used to be.

I counted on you,

And I gave you my all..

You’d never let me fall.

(or so I thought)

barely 3 months later

you decided to had to leave

No notice, no reason,

only an I can't do this, just let me be .

You said you wanted to keep me safe

but all you do is hurt me

You cause me pain, and you don't care.

You don't need me, I see.

You made me a promise,

and I made one to you.

Then you broke yours,

so I broke mine too..

You promised you wouldn't leave me, 

never, not again.

I promised I wouldn't hurt myself,

but, that was then.

And this is as far as I've gotten. I'm still working on it. I'll post the rest later, once I think of it and write it down. 

UPDATE: Okay, so the part past where I left off the last time probably sounds like shit, but it was off the top of my head while I was fixing a couple of typos.