Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.
dear ex lover,
time passed with your words lingering on my lips. though, you were gone and i was just trying to make up for the time i've lost since being distracted. you fed me your toxicity with a spoon, and promised to care for me forever. now, i lay in silence where you used to hold me. i wondered why i was sick, poison radiating off my skin, seeping into the bloodstream while i couldn't sleep. i stared at the blank ceiling in the dark, always wishing you'd stay up just a bit longer to comfort me from the shadows that hid in the darkness.
for, you only wanted me. or at least that's what you told me. you couldn't see yourself straying from our passed, and potential future. but that's never what i wanted. i never wanted to work from 9 to 5, having little children dance around my feet.
i just wanted to be eighteen.
i wanted a love that consumed me. i wanted adventure, comfort to fill my void of lost lovers. i wanted to be inspired. i wanted someone to drown our sorrows in alcohol, we were definitely too young to get our hands on. i wanted to dance in the middle of the road, while rain consumed us. i wanted to share all my favorite memories with someone.
i didn't ask to be haunted by you, i didn't want to be held hostage by your pretend sweet words. i wanted to be loved, not lied to.
i never wanted what you gave me, for years i convinced myself that it was lovely to be loved by you. but the second i walked away i realized how clouded my judgment as been.
and now that i can see clearly, i know what i want.
i want wild flowers to bloom in my heart, and butterflies in my stomach. i want vines to grow around my rib cage, while i talk to birds outside my window.
i want to dance in the dark instead of being afraid.
i need to live for me, i need to love me, before i can let anyone else do that for me.
