tony hawk and the seven stones

1

(a/n: this is meant to be cringe on purpose)

a flower washes up onto the shores of the resort, as per every beach event- a big tittied anime girl with the smallest bikini you've ever seen trots over and picks it up, shoving it into her dry, crisp lemon tinted hair that probably got pissed on, but she didn't even notice cause shes unnaturally naturally blonde

as per thee horrific sight we are bestowed, she breasted boobily towards the hotdog stand with every anime beach episode walk (hands above the shoulders but not above the head, awkward knee touching run.) she kyaa'd the harem protagonist with an eye covering bangs and a duck mullet.

all is anime and well and weirdly horribly drawn. that is of course until a giant Reddit shaped alien crash lands onto the island and burns everyone alive except for the guy supposed to be the representation of the player. "SEND MESSAGE 2 LUNI: >[ok racist white boy]" the alien robot thing shouts before flying up into the sky disappearing forever.

my guy gacha resort man is scared shitless.

he opens his mouth to speak but can't find the correct words, all his friends, mentors, father figures and whatnot are fucking dead under the rubble or burning alive. Survivors guilt for being a messenger of the gods (or god. singular one-time trial use messenger.)

he could only watch in horror jaw wide open at the shitshow, and then it hits him "OH SHIT MAI WAIFU" jack get over it she's a crispy and dead elf now, so he starts crying and shitting himself. neco arc's skeleton pops out of nowhere screaming "burunya" before it dies.

The ghost of amino whispers into his ear "piss yourself.. NOW" and so he does. he pisses so hard he flies into a wormhole and goes into another dimension- or a parallel universe where he wasn't such a fucking loser with duex ex machina powers.

In this parallel universe, he gets no bitches in fact all the bitches goes to his neighbor, John bobbert the 9th. so protag guy, flips his hair and struts foolishly into his neighbors house, explodes him using a giant gacha lazer, and leaves to go to the next universe to find luni.

as he goes to the next one it is, unfortunately, also on fire. there is a random edgelord and a version of the gacha protag with not a gun but a sword in a gun fight. also a weird anime navi mascot with... matching wedding rings.

gacha protag is horrified and hopes the edgelord wins. he does not like this world, and moves on to the Xkour realm. there he meets the reverse emos, killos the king of the piss speedrunners and the others "hey kilios wheres luni I have a message from reddit" GR protag says "Oh yea they're over there in the toilet." cue loud flushing in a porta shitter.

"ahh much better- oh hey GRp" "luni reddit says [luni rasicm white boy] and burned my world" luni sticks the same dream poker face before going completely insane and explodes, shooting into the sky looking for the reddit mascot creature.

grp stays in the parkour dimension with killios until news of their return.

4 years pass

Its 2022 and no news of new gacha lore since, the only new thing is that reddit hates dating sims now. I'm not going to slander god but god dammit.

GRp works in a mcdondalds and lives in a rancid apartment with all the other speedrunners, he's scrapping the barrel for money and despite the horrific sight of genocide and arson of his old home but he still maintains a fake smile for extra tips like every other minimum wage employee.

he opens the door to his apartment and scoots over to his bunk bed, and sleeps. he dreams of the resort being alive and well and probably boobs, unsure why everyone in gacha resort only has tits and no abs or ass but whatever. he dreams of the piss-colored sun and the pink horizon, its beautiful unlike the current state of his horrible life, he misses that world

that sunset city.