The sun rises upon the golden land.The palm tress swish calmly in the cool crisp air. I allow my body to sink into the glorious golden sand and surrender to it's captivating warmth. My brain wipes out all concepts of reality itself, like chalk being wiped off a blackboard. There is no pain here. I feel safe,secure and content in my own little bubble.
'Claire!!"
I slip out of my dream world as quick as the snap of my fingers, startled and dismayed that it had all just vanished before my eyes, I make a desperate attempt to make it magically conjour from my mind once again. Failing this I get up from my comfortable,cozy bed and walk reluctantly to the living room.
My mother was there, buttoning up her extravagant, caramel coloured coat she recently purchased in the attempt to convey the illusion of power,wealth and sophistication. None of which she has if I must be blantently honest. She behaves like the dull,dreary streets are her own personal catwalk. My mum has been acting like this ever since dad left. Everyone thinks she's arrogant,vain and craving attention when infact she is vunerable and needing care and compassion directed towards her. I know the truth. I wish I didn't, it hurts too much. i know why she puts herself through all this but my mouth is glued shut. I must not tell a soul.
"Hey love, I'm away out, will be back around 10pm, supper's in the microwave, bye!"
SLAM
I retreat from the door and make my way back to my bedroom, my santuary for the past two years.
I collaspe onto my bed and allow myself to slowly drift away, back to my oasis and away from the painful aspects of reality. My eyelids slowly begin to close as my worries depart.
When I awake and peer at my clock my body convulses with fright.
12.15 am
My breathing is shallow and raspy; my mum has never been out this long before.
'She'll be at the bar up the road or the shop around the corner,' I reassure myself.
Tick Tok.Tick Tok. Tick Tok.
I sit up and do my best to to compose myself. Breathe in, breathe out. In spite of this I can't prevent myself thinking about what may have happened to her. What if she has hurt herself or gotten into a fight. I can't lose her, I don't have anyone else. These horrid thoughts corrode my brain and make warm,saltly tears slide down my porclain face,one after the other,never ceasing. With shaking hands I clasp my mobile and dial my mum's number. Silent as usual.
"Hey mum, Claire here, I'm getting worried now, can you please phone me, I need to know that you're ok. Bye,'
My stomach ties itself into a enormous knot. Please let her be ok.
