sometimes you just have to let go

chapter 2

I wake up to the sound of my alarm clock i quickly turn it of before my step dad can hear it. I get up out of bed and make my way to have a shower. After about twenty minutesim showered, dressed and heading downstairs to quickly get something to eat, then im off walking to school. The walk to achool takes about thirty five minutes to get there. I eventually get to school and automatically look down at my feet as i walk to my locker. Nobody notices me in this schooland if they do its only to pick on me. No one knows i get beaten up at home, they dont know what it feels like to have bruises and scars all over your body and have many broken bones. And im hoping it will stay that way. Thats why i always wear baggy clothes. I wear baggy trackies and a hoodie with my hood pulled over my face so they dont see all the bruises ans scars left from ly step dad.

I walk into my classroom and take my usual spot, at the very back in the corner. I sit down and look down at my desk and pull my hoodie over my face more. Then a loud group of boys came through the door, they are the jocks, the popular people. I slightly look out of the corner of my eye to see them all looking at me with smirks on their faces. I sink down into my chair and pull my hoodie even further. I hear them all coming towards me, seven or eight of them straight for me. I start to shake a bit from being so scared but they dont notice. They stop at my desk but i dont move a muscle, one of them starts talking but i dont understand what they are saying, im to busy focused on not crying and staying calm. Then one of them yells at me "WE ARE TALKING TO YOU BITCH, ANSWER US" just as he finished yelling he yanks off my hoodie amd stares me straight in the eyes. He looks at all the bruises and scars on my face then takes a step back and gasps while covering his mouth. I take that as a chance to get the hell out of there i was on the edge of crying and just wanted to get away. I grab my things and run out of the classroom tears streaming down my face. I could hear him yelling at me to stop but i didnt listen i kept going.

I hid in the girls bathroom until lunch, i washed my face with a bit of water then headed out to the caferteria. As i walk in all talking stops and all eyes are on me, i look down and quickly make my way to a corner to eat my lunch. While i was eating that boy who ripped my hoodie off approached me. My heart picked up pace and i started breathing quicker, i was terrified and i had no where to go i was in the corner. He came and stood right in front of me, i looked anywhere but him. He moved his hand out quickly as if he was going to hit me, thats when everything went black. I had passed out.

I opened my eyes to see everyone surrounding meand staring at me. I sat up quickly and scurried closer in the corner and hugged my legs close to my chest. I heard people say that they werent going to hurt me, but how could i trust them. Thats what my step dad said to me and my mother. I let a few tears drop remembering that. Everyone backed off a bit when the principal came in and stood right in front of me. I quickly looked up only to look down straight away. The principal evenultually convinced me to get up and leave the cafeteria. As soon as i was out of there i ran for it. I went to my locker quickly grabbed my bag and ran home. As soon as i walked through the door i was backed up against the wall by my step dad. I was very shocked and scared out of my brain. Im always scared when hes around but i cant let it show. I let him beat me up again then went to my room, had a shower, and drew for a while. After about three hours i realized i had to go down and make some dinner for that man i call my step dad. I finished making him dinner and then headed upstairs to go to bed.

i jumped in my bed and thought about my day. I dont know how much longer i can put up with this. Its becoming to much. I ended up silently crying myself to sleep.

I again woke up to the sound of my alarm clock and i got up to have a shower. After that i headed downstairs to leave. I walked out the door having not eaten anything because today at school during lunch im going to end my miserble life. I cant handle my life anymore its terrible. So i slowly walked to school feeling i could take as long as i pleased. When i reached school it was already half way into first class, so i only had to sit through the rest of this class, have a half an hour recess, sit through the second class then it was lunch time.

The rest of that class went really quick. When the bell went i slowly gathered up all my things and headed to my locker. I put my things away and headed to the cafeteria. I hadnt had any run ins with anyone so far which was good. The jocks all stayed away from me but kept staring at me with sympathy. I shook it off and went and sat in the corner for recess. When the bell signalling the end of recess i made my way to my locker to grab my things then headed off to my second class. I sat through the whole class thinking about what i was going to say before pungled a knife into my heart. I came up with a couple of good things to say and i was finally happy to be getting out of this place. The bell finally went, i took my time getting to my locker so that when i get to the cafeteria everyone would be there. I got to my locker and put my things away, then grabbed my knife i had in my bag and walked to the cafeteria. I decided to make a entrance seeing as im not going to be here much longer. I walked to the double doors and slammed open them really hard so they banged the wall. It worked becuase all eyes were on me then moved to the knife in my hand. I walked over to a free table, stood on top of it amd took a deep breath then said

"hi everyone, im here to tell you about what im going to do. Im going to take this knife and kill myself. I cant take the pain any longer. I cant take the bullying any more. Its all too much. I get bashed and beaten every day at home by a man so called as my step father. He expects me to do everything for him becuase hes to drunk to care. I hope he suffers, because then maybe he will learn, i also hope he rots in hell. He made the last two years of my life horrific. And yesterday when you came up to me and pulled my hoodie off, i thought you were going to beat me, and i here as well. I thought about this decision yesterday and made up my mind that i cant do this anymore. The pain, the bullying, the loss of my mum, its just too much for me now. Two years, two long years i have been putting up with it all and its horrible, and you all had no idea because you didnt take the time to try and be nice to me or even try to be friends with me. So hear i am standing on a table in my schools cafeteria about to take my life. The last thing i want to say is, i hope you have a great life dont let yourself get to what i am and be happy. But sometimes you just have to let go"

Then with that i bought the knife up to my chest, and with tears in my eyes i pushed the knife straight into my chest. I collapsed on the table breathing heavily and felt myself slowly slip away from the amount of blood loss. Then last thing i saw was the jock run up to me screaming and crying but i coulnt hear anything. I just hope he carries on with his life and learn that theres more than just looks and i hope he doenst bully anyone else. With that i died with a smile on my face knowing that someone actually cared deep down inside and that now i can go to a happier amd peaceful place where no one expects me to do anything, i can do what i please.

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i hope you enjoyed my story, its my first one so its not very good but please tell me what you think

-k xoxox