Everlasting Silence

Prologue

Jordan's POV
Something wasn't right.

I knew that the minute I stepped on stage, the spotlights seemed way too bright and even the silence of the audience rang in my ears like a raging storm, making me dizzy.

I tried to ignore the feeling and kept my forced smile up, slowly making my way towards my spot and taking position, my pointe shoes making a thudding sound with every step. Even though I hadn't started yet, I was already out of breath and the tight corset of my costume wasn't helping at all.

The familiar music made its way through the fog in my head, making me realize that I had missed my cue, so I had to rush through the first steps to be on time again. I had practiced the dance countless times over the last few weeks that I knew it by heart, which was good considering that I felt like I was watching myself from the outside.

My body was moving on autopilot and it was scaring the crap out of me. Gasping for some kind of control or at least a way to snap myself out of the state I was currently in, I bit forcefully down on my tongue, the metallic taste of blood coating the inside of my mouth.

Sometime halfway through my solo my gaze caught a pair of cerulean blue eyes that I knew oh-so-well, causing the tension in my shoulders and legs to fall off and relief to wash over me like a wave. The only problem was that this agonizing tension that I'd felt before was the only thing that kept me on my feet and now that it was gone, my muscles felt like jelly.

I tried to use her eyes for spotting-purposes when I went in for another double pirouette, but as soon as I went en pointe my ankle gave weight and I made hard contact with the stage floor. A feeling of forlornness spread through me as her eyes disappeared from my vision, which blurred more and more with every passing second.

Whispers from the audience reached my ear that got louder and louder when I didn't get up straight away. Someone knelt down beside me, but I couldn't make out who it was due to one of the spotlights dazzling me. My chest was heaving as I desperately tried to suck air into my lungs and my heart felt like it was racing at a hundred miles per hour.

»The ambulance is on its way, just try to stay awake, okay? You're gonna be fine, I promise«, I heard the voice of my best friend Evan say and I tried to lift my right hand to give him a thumbs-up, trying to signal him that I was fine and just needed a moment, but it wouldn't even butch a millimeter.

I felt my eyelids begin to flutter as the uncomfortable floor I just landed on seemed to be getting softer all of a sudden. »Don't you dare!«, Evan warned me and shook my shoulders a little to keep me conscious, my whole body aching at the harsh movement, causing me to scrunch up my face.

There had to be more people around me by now judging by the amount of shadows dancing across my periphery view and the multitude of murmuring voices. Why was everyone acting like I was dying or at least falling into a coma? Did I miss something?

Even though my body wasn't working all too well at the moment, I still managed to lower my gaze just enough to sneak a peek at my ankle. There was a small rivulet of blood seeping through my tights and something about the anatomy of my ankle seemed incredibly off to me, but that could also be due to my weird point of view.

While the sight of blood had always mesmerized me in a probably unhealthy way, this didn't feel right. Like, at all. My gaze snapped back to Evan when he shouted something incomprehensible and I frowned. I could feel the light springing of the stage under heavy steps and figured that the paramedics must've arrived.

My assumption got confirmed when I felt myself getting lifted onto a stretcher, pain shooting from my ankle through my entire body. An unfamiliar face appeared in my field of vision, bombarding me with questions, but I was too tired to move, too tired to even think about moving.

Another voice chimed in, apparently answering the paramedics questions because I could see him nod repeatedly. Someone grabbed my hand and gave it a gentle squeeze, which averted my attention from the paramedic to them.

It was her. She was here, even though I screwed up royally and didn't deserve her to be here and hold my hand, but she did it anyways. Like she had promised.

She said something to me that I didn't even try to decipher, but judging by the way her brows furrowed and the grip of her pale hand tightened I could tell she was worried.

Or maybe she was just extremely pissed off and wanted to say goodbye before disappearing out of my life like everyone else did. I could understand that. Not that I could live with that, but I could understand it.

I felt my eyelids getting heavier again and despite having people yell at me -probably to keep me awake- I let them fall shut, darkness surrounding me, welcoming me, creeping through my mind like venom.

When did my life turn into one big screwup? I tried to pinpoint a specific event that caused everything to spiral out of control. My mind couldn't come up with one. Perhaps it was a multitude of bad decisions that led to this moment. That was more likely. Whatever.

The only thing I knew for sure though was that it had all started when she had walked into my life and decided to turn it upside down.

The best times and the worst.

The silent laughter and the tears.

The feeling of being enough and the burning cuts on my forearms.

It was all because of her.

Maybe not the last part. The last part had already been there before, but that is a story for a later time.

All my body felt when the darkness took me under was the urge to fight.

For her.

So I did.

A/N: Welcome to the story, if you're reading this you've probably made it through the first chapter without giving up. I'm very thankful for that. Hopefully, things will start to make a lot more sense in future chapters as of how we got here and what's going on.
Since English is not my first language I apologize for any mistakes in advance, I'll try to proofread everything, but... yeah.
Anyways, thanks for giving this mess of a story a go and hopefully I'll see you around in following chapters.

~Opalschatten