Just A Step Away From You

CHAPTER II: That Passion Can't Be Erased For It's Embossed In My Heart

Mai Ding contemplated 'I have never been this lonely before and realized that I have lost so much from that very day my love ended.'[1]

The house An Ziyan had near his university was now uninhabited. Yet the house he brought for the both of them has still become Mai Ding's dwelling place.

"I'm still here but you're gone..." Mai Ding says faintly.

He was told that his parents rushed to get an international flight to go back home, evidently they're devastated to what happened.

They have lost their beloved son.

*"An Ziyan's parents, they've decided to cremate his remains and go back overseas together with An Suo and his grandfather to start their lives anew."

" Mai Ding, I should also tell this. Your relationship with him, they're still not aware about it." Zhou Ge added

That time Mai Ding could just smile bitterly at Zhou Ge. 'I understand, I am aware on that part very well, I was the one who suggested to An Ziyan and Bai Xiaosi to not say anything to them after all.' He reflected. *

***

"We're still students that time. I guess, our hopes of saying it to them will never come." He said

How many years had already passed after that agonizing memory?

He had already succeeded in finishing university and emerged to be very successful in the career he was in now.

"Hey, An Ziyan. I am now 25 years old, has a job and my very own car. You're such a bastard leaving me like this. How can I drive for you now?"

'But you sucked at driving.' Mai Ding chuckled sullenly. He imagined An Ziyan saying this to him.

An Ziyan's records were pulled out from university. The family is the top donator that's why so many questions were left unasked.

The people who saw or have any relations towards the incident were hushed even with the money.

All of this was based according to An Ziyan's best friend story; nevertheless. Mai Ding doesn't know why it was done to such an extent.

He guessed, the loss of their son will make their competitors show aggression when they are weak.

Li Ming's still his long time friend; If they both have a time to spare, they get to hang out together to ease their sorrows away.

Mai Ding has told Li Ming everything about his heartaches and despair about An Ziyan's death.

How An Suo did this and that to not reveal the terrible thing that happened to her little brother for the sake of their family affairs.

One of their conversation's goes on like this:

" Na, Li Ming." Mai Ding asked while holding a can of beer.

"Hmm?" Li Ming replied with disinterest.

"Tell me, where do all broken hearts go after experiencing so much devastation?''

"You knowwhat, how many times did you ask me that sentence in this entire evening? Are you drunk already?"

"No I'm not; I'm asking you. That is why answer already.

" Aiya! I don't know the answer; I don't even know why I can't have a long time girlfriend. Just move on, Man! " Li Ming wiped his face with both of his palms grunting.

" I can't, I just can't do that!" Mai Ding's raising his voice already.

"You can, he's gone!" with that Li Ming shut his mouth and sighed. He saw Mai Ding showed a sad face like he was about to cry. *

***

Of course, how can he tell his parents about it, when he told them that if he ever love a guy and showed An Ziyan's picture to his mom, she just saw it as a joke and brushed him off.[2]

Mai Ding did say that Xiaosi is his girlfriend but after all that happened, he doesn't want to connect to anyone that has any relation with An Ziyan.

Although they do ask where did his handsome friend now, "he's gone" all he can just reply to them.

"Oh" His parents just thought that An Ziyan went to a faraway place and never to return again.

Then he remembered the last thing Li Ming said to him that night when he was about to cry.

*"Hey, I know you have loved him more than anyone in this world and trust me when I say this, he did too..An Ziyan even if he's not already here, his heart will always be yours.

I just now that he wants you to be happy, as well. That's why, Mai Ding you need to do this sooner or later you must realize that you need to move on.

As your friend I only want what's best for you too." Li Ming continued and patted his friend's shoulder.*

It was very difficult to carry on with his life, he still loves him but he only wants to concentrate on that feeling and not particularly on others affairs.

Zhou Ge and Ellen, even though they tried to contact him, Mai Ding never answer their calls and invitations.

Bai Xiaosi, his only girl confidante.. She has never tried to reach out to him, he doesn't know the reason but still he realized 'this is all for the best.'

It's for the fact that he had already told his parents they're not together anymore and future prospects for blind dates be still off-limits.

Given that his heart is still heartbroken. This piece of statement is really true.

"It's not that I don't want to move on, it's just that An Ziyan's "the only man", I've ever loved like this, my first love."

How can he end and even forget that passion for that certain someone that effortlessly.

The truth is...It can't be erased.

It has entirely been embossed in his heart very completely.

TBC

[1] A reference to Mai Ding's line from the HBY mv when he learned about An Ziyan's death

[2] In reference to a scene when Mai Ding showed An Ziyan's picture to his parents ( the blind-date conversation at his home) on the Like Love Movie