Your Voice(please, I want to hear it again.) || TOMMYINNIT

17:

Tommy had squeezed his arms tighter, making Nana take a step back to regain her balance as she tried to control another repeating muscle spasm.

- What's the illness called? - Tommy quietly asked, the anger in his tone now shifting into something more gentle.

- It's some sort of creutz— critz— christ— Oh gosh, I can't even pronounce it. Hold on... - Nana muttered as she pulled her phone out from her pocket, trying to search up the name. - This... weird thing.

The screen's brightness automatically turned down, making Tommy's once squinting eyes relax as he examined Nana's screen.

"creutsfeld-jakob disease

Showing results for creutzfeldt-jakob disease:

Creutzfeldt–Jakob disease (CJD), also known as subacute spongiform encephalopathy or neurocognitive disorder due to prion disease, is an invariably fatal degenerative brain disorder. Early symptoms include memory problems, behavioural changes, poor coordination, and visual disturbances."

- Creutzfeldt-jakob?

- Yeah, I think that's how you say it.

Nana's words had sounded beaten, drained of every last bit of her energy. If there was anything left intact in Tommy's heart, then Nana's voice was sure to crush it back down into thousands of unfixable pieces.

So, this is what she had been dealing with? This is what Nana felt like a burden she carried on her shoulders all alone? Why hadn't Tommy confronted Nana about this earlier? Why hadn't he said anything about it before July or even June? Then, at least there would still be a little more time left, but no. Only now this moment had come.

- Tommy, - Nana breathed out, sounding as if she were to pass out any second now, - could we please sit down? I'm starting to see them again.

- Oh, of course. - Tommy responded, taking a step back from Nana before helping her get to her bed. - Sorry, I got carried away.

Tommy stood back up from the bed before walking towards the little kitchen area. It was a lot messier than usual.

He took out a familiar tea box from the already opened cabinet, shaking it a little to make sure that there were at least a few tea bags left. Though, unlike last time, this small box seemed to be new. The last one looked as if it had been thrown around a few times for whatever purpose.

- Fancy a cup? - Tommy asked as he held up a box of tea bags with lemon & raspberry flavour.

Nana silently nodded.

A sentimental feeling had been creeping around Tommy earlier today & it hadn't left him alone, not for even a second. Only now, though, that same emotion didn't feel so out of place as he was in the same place where the memory had occurred.

Taking the kettle, Tommy poured in some water before placing it back on the stove.

- Tommy... - Nana muttered, her voice quiet yet loud enough for him to hear. - Who are those— what are those—...  those things.

Tommy turned around, trying to find the direction in which Nana had been staring.

- They're not really there, right?

Nana's breath was shaking, her eyes wide & filled with tears that trembled with anxiety. Her eyes were staring at a corner opposite her, near the dark red front door. There used to be a shoe rack in that same corner, though Nana had changed its location not too long ago. Now, there was nothing there.

Tommy felt his stomach turn in ways it never had before as he stared at the empty corner. Tommy covered his mouth, attempting to refuse the urge to puke.

In the corner... There was nothing there but a blank wall covered in an old white, imprints of floral wallpaper.

There was nothing there.

There was nothing there.

There was nothing there.

Tommy stumbled in place, a whiplash caused by nothing making him lose his balance. His feet twisted as he tried to regain his composure, the air around him suddenly shifting from still to falling. His hand fell back, sweeping the air while trying to find something to grab & hold on to.

The air around Tommy became still again, his hand gripping onto a nearby chair. Tommy's stomach had clenched itself, feeling his breakfast break down into acid before attempting to come back out as fast as he had eaten it. He gripped his abdomen, trying to open the window just a little wider. However, Tommy felt nothing but hot air breeze inside the flat.

A sound of a voice speaking & floorboards creaking had been drowned out by his sickly ghoulish feeling.

He could see them, flashes of spinning images & memories, running back to that same scenario Tommy had in his head that he began imagining once Nana had finally confessed. Hospitals, flashing lights, heart monitors, tubes stuck to every part of her body—

- Tommy!

Tommy felt a hand rest on his back, that same voice suddenly becoming louder.

It was almost like an echo, yet that same echo kept coming back to him instead of the thing or person causing the sound. If he had remembered anything he'd learnt in physics, was that echoes come back to what creates them. Though, this one hadn't been doing that.

- Tommy!

Tommy hastily raised his head, finally finding the owner of the voice. Nana had knelt in front of him, worry plastered all over her face.

- Tom, you're pale. - Nana spoke before getting up from the floor, heading to the sink before hurriedly coming back. - Here, drink this.

Tommy hesitantly took the glass of cold water offered to him, unable to look at the person in front of him.

- You're... You're sick.

Nana's lips had pressed down into a thin line, her eyes avoiding Tommy. She knew it would take him a long time to get used to now, finally knowing that knowledge. Even now, Nana wasn't used to the thought of her being sick.

She lived in a body that kept on rotting away each day & yet, Nana still struggled to confront that fact.

Death was coming closer & closer with each living second, yet she still ran away from it with legs that had no energy to carry her. Even then, the air still brushed past her. Even then, the illusion of breaking free from her unlucky fortune hadn't disappeared.

Tommy watched as Nana went down to sit down next to him on the floor. She propped up her knees close to her chest as her head & back lay pressed against that same old blank wall.

Her head had been throbbing in an unbearably still motion, everything seemingly spinning around in circles. She could say way too many things of the same items.

Nana stared at the closet in front of her. There were two of them. It was as though her eyes had turned into a bad-quality camera, unable to focus.

The girl turned her head back to Tommy, noticing his now more relaxed posture.

I wish I never met you.

At least then, you wouldn't be here with me now.

Nana lightly smiled, turning back to stare at the two faded closets in front of her.

At least then, you wouldn't have to suffer with me.