You Infire Me

Chapter Twenty-Two: Pressure Applied

"I could not tell you if I loved you the first moment I saw you, or if it was the second or third or fourth. But I remember the first moment I looked at you walking toward me and realized that somehow the rest of the world seemed to vanish when I was with you."
—Cassandra Clare, Clockwork Prince

The weather is officially warm, which means that Roommate Brunch at Shadow Café now has the option of being replaced by a Roommate Brunch Picnic at Main Street Square Park. A boisterously excited Vivian insists on this departure from normalcy, and you, Bianca, and Tristan placidly agree to indulge her. (She does, after all, offer to cook and bake and buy everything.)

You spread out an old blanket on the grass and make yourself comfortable. Vivian passes around fruit, a cheese plate, cinnamon rolls that are too good to be store-bought, and even mini-quiches. (Just one of the many perks of having a roommate obsessed with French cooking.) You watch a couple nearby toss a Frisbee back and forth as your best friends chat about everything and nothing.

"Wishing you were with Yoongi right now, Y/N?" Tristan's taunting voice calls back your attention. She nods to the couple you were watching.

"Oh, no," you smile, a somewhat nervous laugh simultaneously passing through your lips. You shyly tuck a strand of hair behind your ear. "It's just entertaining to watch, is all."

"Frisbee is about as entertaining to watch as a documentary on space exploration," Bianca smirks.

"Hey!" Vivian protests. "I happen to think space exploration is very interesting."

"You can call him, if you want," Tristan continues, ignoring your other two roommates' comments. "He's more than welcome to join us."

"No, that's okay," you tell her. "This time is for me to spend with you guys. I can see him later. Sorry I was zoning out."

"Oh, girl, we get it," Vivian pipes up. "When I first started dating Scott, I could never get my mind off him. I had to see him every day, or else I felt like I would die."

The four of you share a laugh. "Well, Yoongi and I don't see each other every day," you say. "But of course I do find myself missing him."

Vivian and Bianca share a look. "You . . . don't see him every day?" Bianca inquires.

"No," you admit. "I . . . we . . . we're both busy. Is . . . is that bad? Should we see each other every day?"

"To each their own," Vivian replies, "but Scott gets really upset if I'm too busy to see him. He acts all pouty and mopey, which is kind of cute. But he also gets insecure about things. He'll start to doubt our relationship."

At Vivian's words, something in you pops, shifts, crackles. Am I making Yoongi feel insecure? Is he doubting our relationship? You remain silent, both unsure of how to reply and too caught up in your thoughts to formulate anything verbally. A bitterness settles on your tongue.

As the conversation moves on, you shut down more and more. The thoughts keep coming, piling, twisting your stomach into knots and your vision into blurs. Tristan hands you a bottled orange juice, and that's when she seems to notice your mood, your body language signaling dejection. Slumped shoulders. Lowered head. Still, but contemplative eyes.

"Y/N," she mutters, placing a hand on your shoulder. "Wanna go for a walk?"

"Sure," you agree.

Tristan announces to the ever-chatty Bianca and Vivian duo that you'll be back soon, and steers you down a tree-lined sidewalk away from them.