she's not your one

Benny boo

Ben's POV

It's the morning and the sun is shining down from a window I didn't know I had. My bed is unusually comfy and smells of- Darcy? I look around to realise this isn't my apartment. Jaye isn't anywhere nor are the girls. I rub my eyes and see that I'm still in my suit from work. Fuck going in today my head is killing. I go and grab a glass of water being mindful if anyone is asleep. It's not my place to go and snoop. I've been here a fair few times but only in the living room so I know my boundaries. Food on the other hand isn't a boundary. I find a loaf of bread that's probably past it's sell by date so I don't check. Ignorance is bliss. I eat it and hope my head sorts itself out. I want to shower soon and get out of this god damn suit. I don't have much recollection of the night before except-.

"Hey man. How you feeling?" Jaye. Jaye's voice.

"Tired and something is on the front of my mind, or whatever that saying is, and it's big" I say trying to jog my memory. I remember feeling ecstatic.

"Well if you remember I believe congratulations are in order" WAIT!

"IM ENGAGED!" I say too loud.

"Shhhh man." Jaye slaps me round the head. 

I don't care, I'm engaged! Did I give her a ring? No... I didn't have a ring on me at any point. How could I do that to her? She deserves so much more than a promise. What's her favourite stone again? Rubies! 

"I didn't get her a fucking ring man. I need to get her a ring." I say anxiously. I feel like I've let her down. I do believe I love her. I won't admit that to her unless I know she feels even remotely similar but she is one of the most gorgeous girls I've ever know. The most gorgeous girl. I practically run out of the apartment to find a jewellery store. This isn't the right side of town.

"Have a shower too whilst you're at it." Jaye calls after me as I run down the stairs. Stupid lift.

I don't have my wallet on me and I'm not even sure where it is but I have Apple Pay so I'm sure I'll get by. I'm speed walking out of the building to get to the right side of the city to find a nice ring like she deserves. As I'm walking down the path looking at people going to work and continuing with their lives something catches my eye. I turn around and look at this small antique shop. I push a pull door which isn't one of my finer moments but as I enter the bell rings and I'm hit with a lavender scent. A small grey haired man approaches me and offers a hello and a warm smile. He's hunched from age but I'm sure his life is happy and content although his face looks weathered. People do interest me and I wonder about their life and if they have found happiness. I'm still searching for mine.

"Excuse me do you have any rubies? Rings I mean." I say. I'm nervous to be honest I want to get it right.

"I have 1. It was turned in by a lady a week ago. She said it was an heirloom, she wished she could hold onto it but times are rough. She also said that it was too small and she'd never be able to give it to anyone else so it's here now." Fuck I can't give a ring that belongs to someone else.

"Do you have her address? Phone number?" I ask.

"Yes. May I ask why you want it sir." He looks at me then fixes his glasses and scuttles away probably to grab the ring.

"I couldn't imagine having to sell something like that. Even if it's insignificant to her and she sells it on again I still don't do enough. I live far away in ignorance. Shit I sound like a douche. I'm just thinking if I can do this for a stranger then I can do right by the woman I lov- for the woman I'm with." I say practically chocking on words.

"Got it bad son don't you? How long have you been together?" He asks me. His face softens as he becomes intrigued.

"We umm haven't." I say.