He couldn’t remember why he was this anxious. Fractured memories played on a loop in his mind and yet the longer he stood at the top of the stairs, watching the front doors, the longer he felt like he was losing it. Maybe he finally was. The parts of his brain that used to function with ease felt like they were being torn apart.
Frayed thoughts ran through his mind, bringing him back to the surface – keeping him from drowning in the depths of his mind. Yet still the anxiety pumped through his veins, forcing his heart rate to speed up exponentially. He helped someone with something…helped to save something. Nothing made sense tonight, not at a time where he felt like he had blacked out for hours on end.
“Stephen?” Your voice. Your…voice – you.He turned, focusing on the single thing that seemed to drag his consciousness back to the world around him. “Hi,” he said even if he did sound distant physically as well as mentally.
“Everything okay?”The frayed nerves still set him on edge, body putting out adrenaline in order to combat whatever he had been fighting. What had he been fighting? None of that mattered. Not now. You were there, watching him warily – as if he was someone entirely different – who knows he very well might be someone else. Has someone stolen his name, his body? Was that why he felt off putting – unlike himself?
“I – I don’t know.”Such a pathetic, measly response, but there was nothing else he could say. The unknown used to be a small area of darkness to him and yet now…he felt like he was drowning in it. Gasping for air as the memories he should have never showed up. What if he completely lost himself in this cavern? What if he never found his way back to you? He couldn’t allow that to happen, because you were here and you…were perfect.
He didn’t recall stumbling his way towards you, nor did he hold any memory of how you ended up against a wall, but there you were. Staring up at him and holding his face so reverently that he felt the tears well up in his eyes. You were his anchor. The one dragging him forcefully out of his own endless pit that seemed content in swallowing him whole.
He wanted to tell you, desperately. He ached to know himself.“I don’t know.” The same three words that were on repeat in his mind became all he could say to you. An explanation was nonexistent so he allowed himself to forget about the trauma that stuck to his skin like a permanent tattoo.
You’d save him. You’d protect him.He was sure of it.“What can I do?” You didn’t like the haunted look in his eyes. Nor did you appreciate how his hands shook again.
“Kiss me.”The request felt like the easiest thing in the world for you to do – almost not enough – but for him…it was bliss. Your lips pressed against his and he felt the layers of armor he wore for a reason, begin to melt away. Whatever happened caused him severe distress, that much was obvious, but most of all he needed to know you were real. That he hadn’t imagined you standing before him – safe.
You were safe. You were here with him and finally he felt like he could breathe.The tenderness shifted; his hands now dug into your hips, his lips now demanding against your own. He wanted you – needed you and who were you to pull away from his touch. You'd do anything he asked of you, bending to his will just as everything else did. His teeth sunk into your bottom lip, tugging sharply and tearing a whimper from your throat.
He could devour you every way he knew how and you’d beg for more. If this is what he needed to feel whole again, you were more than willing to oblige.
“This-” he breathed raggedly against the skin of your neck. “You. I need you.”“Yours,” you replied, feeling him begin to lead you backwards and you did your best not to stumble. “I’m yours.”
It was ridiculous to even consider you belonging to anyone else. From the first moment he looked at you, there was a hold placed over your heart, emotions, body, everything he could lay claim to, he did. Everything he could love he would without question. He’d already lost so much in life; pushed away so many people, but not you. Never you.
