Leaving it all to them!

1.Monday

I'm not quite sure what happened to me.I mean,I used to run around the park,with no shoes on.
So, what happened?I have no clue,but,that day, that's when it got bad. 'It' being Danny. 'Danny' being my dad.I do still love him,but I choose to distance myself anyways.I can't be arsed with his bullshit right now:he's changed a lot,in bad way.
He is definitely not the worst person I have ever met.Most out -of -it?Maybe,but not the worst.
That's all I can think about today,my dad.More like how he used to be. I used to be his best friend,but now I hang around with my brothers roadmen friends and their puffer jackets,cigarettes and their cancer-packed disposables.How fun?
My life sucks.I know that,but I can't change it.This shitty apartment and peeling wallpaper must be what the world wants for me.Who am I to save the little money I earn?I save that for charity shops and food.Who am I to go against the things my father has set up for me?Paying bail,leaving the house to be away from him and cleaning his ash trays.How kind of him to give me these opportunities?!!Well,not really.

"Scar!!Get your ass down here now!!Me and my mates are going out.You can either stay or come with." For fucks sake.                  Toby. Toby is my older brother by 3 years so ,he's 16.Not what his ID says,but ok.I am close with him.  Much more than my other 3 brothers because majority of them moved away from dad ,when I was 10.Thanks guys!!Toby really is my best    
friend,honestly.He has always been there for me ,even though I'm treated like shit by him majority of the time.He knows me the best ,but nobody knows everything about me. "Scarlett!"Shit,he's still waiting.
"Be down in 5!Just getting changed,Jesus!"I yell down the stairs as I see a look of amusement plaster his face.I'm still in my pyjamas and it's 7pm. "Shut up,I didn't think I'd be going out."I throw my slipper at his face and he ducks just as it hits his forehead.
"Fuck Scar!"He throws the slipper back at my face ,but misses,with a really shitty throw. "Please,for the love of god,hurry up!"
I laugh,under my breath,as I run to my wardrobe as quick as possible.

I struggle to tighten my belt around some extremely baggy mens trousers.They are the best because I will never grow out of them meaning I spend less of my little money.Then,I grab a black vest and a brown wooden jumper from the floor and slip them over my head.I'm kind of good at getting dressed quickly because my brother usually invites me out,with a few minutes to be ready to go.Either way,I'm ready in a minute tops.Sprinting down the stairs,I put on some of my brothers doc Martens and grab my rucksack and shove in my essentials .Hurrying out the door,I hear my brother make a joke about how I look like an old man,but I just ignore him.He's always like this,but I love him anyways.We are family and that's all that matters.

It isn't long until we are riding our bikes down Leonard's Lane at full speed.I can feel the cold air pushing its way through the holes in my jumper and searing onto my skin.I hold my breath,letting the impact of the wind embrace me,a sensation of freedom and glee his me suddenly.After a few seconds of enjoying this moment,I breathe out,while letting a trail of condensation flow behind me.My body becomes increasingly numb the further and quicker I pedal,but I do not stop.My skin begs for more of this freedom,this release from my disgusting bedroom.So do I.I crave for the sweet-smelling night air and the musty smell of the forest.Sometimes,even the smell of cigarettes.It's less of a nice smell and more of a homely smell though.I like the cold and covering up:I like the feeling of security I can get in that.The fitted clothes for the summer don't go with my monthly budget of around £50.Not much,but I get on well.That's it!That musty Forrest smell.The damp,muddy smell of the mossy trees and uncut grass.My smell.

"Where are we meeting?"I shout over the top of the chains of my bike clanking against my wheels.
"To the canal!Maddy,y'know Harry's girlfriend?"He looks over at me and takes one hand from the handles and into his coat pocket.I have never understood how he does that,but he manages just fine to pull a vape from him pocket.
"Yeah,Maddy Peterson,I know her!"Still struggling to battle with the sound of my bike,I manage to pry my eyes from the Forrest just ahead of me.
"Yeah well,she's bringing her friend Tana or Tammie?Something like that anyways...bringing us some weed!"He takes a hit of his 'Watermelon sweet' vape and looks back towards the dirt path leading into the woods towards the canal.
"Sound,just tell me when we are gonna stop!"I take a breath in and focus back on the dirt track and whisper, "You never tell me where we are gonna stop..." And it's true,he doesn't.He just stops in the middle of the road at some point so I have to come to a sharp halt.My shitty breaks don't help at all.