Fold Your Hands Child

Led Away By Imperfect Imposters

                               

"So, you stuck to a smoothie, huh? How on earth did I guess?"

Emily looked to Brendon as she took a seat at a table toward the back of the coffee shop, which had become quite a bit more vacant since she first stepped through the door. Raising a brow, she stuck the paper straw into the cup and took a quick sip. "You said no conversation was required." She said, though a small smirk tugged at her lips.

Brendon held his hands up in defense, though he caught Emily's smirk. "Okay, okay, geez. " He teased, his grin ever present on his face. "Though seriously, you had a chance to get coffee, judgment free and you passed it up?"

Emily shrugged. 'I don't know, I've never tried it before...It feels...wrong" As the words escaped Emily's lips she realized just how silly she sounded. It wasn't like she was contemplating drinking herself under the table with alcohol. It was coffee...Apparently American ran on the stuff. But the prophet was adamant that the members of the church avoided it at all costs.

"Wrong?" Brendon questioned, shaking his head. 'That's a load of shit if I ever heard it. You know, I never understood it either. But hey, anything to get that Temple Recommend, right?" He raised his steaming cup of coffee to his lips and took a sip, but kept his gaze on Emily.

Emily regarded Brendon with curiosity. "You obviously know what you're talking about...How long has it been since you left the church? Or have you?"

"Oh God, yeah. I left years ago, when I was 17. Was a bit of a struggle with my parents at first, but they finally came around. It devastated them when they found out I had no intentions of going on my mission." Brendon shook his head. "I couldn't even fill out the application."

Emily bit her lip as she thought once more of her parents at home, completely torn to pieces over her own announcement a few hours ago. "Yeah, I can relate to that. I got my assignment today." She dropped her gaze down to her hands, which were both gripped around her icy cup of strawberry smoothie. "I'm to report to the Missionary Training Center in Salt Lake City two weeks from today and then a few weeks later I'm supposed to be on a plane to Iceland."

"But?" Brendon questioned. "I know there's a but in there. Don't leave me on a cliffie, Emily."

Emily could feel his gaze on her, but she didn't dare look up from her cup. "I don't think I can go." She shook her head. "I can't go and spread the message of a cult I'm not sure I believe in." This was it, this was the first time she'd spoken the words that she had been thinking for months. And it was definitely the first time she'd referred to the LDS church as a cult. She felt dread in the pit of her stomach, wishing desperately she could rewind a few minutes and make it as though she hadn't said anything at all. "I believe in God, don't get me wrong." She finally looked up at Brendon. "But there is so, so much about the church that doesn't sit right with me. It doesn't make sense and I don't think it ever will."

Bredon smiled at Emily, though there was something else in his eyes. "Hey, I get it. I've been there. You won't hear any judgment from me. There is a lot that doesn't make sense, and a hell of a lot that I couldn't look over for the rest of my life." He said. "It can't be the only way, you know?"

Emily nodded. "Exactly." She mused, shaking her head. She wondered what Brendon's belief was now, if he believed in anything at all. She didn't dare ask, it wasn't any of her business.

"But um, enough about me. What about you?"

"Well, what about me?" Brendon asked, the hint of mischief from before returning to his eyes, not going unnoticed by Emily.

Emily chuckled. "Well, all I know about you is your first name and that you were definitely part of the Mormon church at some time in your life."

"Ah, well, to be fair, that's all I know about you as well." He pointed out, "But yeah, what do you want to know? I'm an open book."

"Well, I don't know." Emily said, her cheeks red, hinting at embarrassment. "Just tell me a bit about yourself?"

Again, that look that Emily couldn't quite place adorned Brendon's expression as he played with the tab on his coffee lid. "Since you're insisting on a formal introduction, just know I'm insisting the same." He warned, bringing a light chuckle from Emily's lips. "But yeah, uh, my name is Brendon Urie, which you know. I'm 28, an aries....An aries is someone who was born in..."

"I know what an aries is." Emily interrupted. "I'm a scorpio, but I don't really go around announcing that."

"And why would you?" Brendon asked. "It's very irreligious of you." He snorted a bit before he sipped his coffee again. "But you're a Scorpio? Hell yes! Are you a Halloween baby? Please tell me you're a Halloween baby!"

Emily giggled a bit. "So close, I was born October 27th. We aren't much for Halloween, though."

"Oh, so when you say that do you mean you aren't much for Halloween, or you're not supposed to be much for Halloween?"

Emily only shrugged in response to Brendon's question as she took a sip of her smoothie. "What do you do for work?" She asked him instead, genuinely curious. She was happy getting to know him, and the more she spoke to him, the less he felt like a stranger. It was odd, as Emily wasn't usually the most outgoing person. She wasn't one to speak to someone she just met, at least not this extensively. But talking to Brendon felt easy, like talking to a friend she'd known for years.

"I'm a musician..Well, and I sing." Brendon replied, "That's actually what brings me here, to Park City. The guys and I rented a cabin for a while and we're working on our new album. Though I don't know if it's doing any good or not, we're not making much progress."

Emily raised a brow. "A musician, huh? Like a proper band? Are you any good?"

Brendon chuckled a bit. "I mean, I would say so? I don't wanna toot my own horn or anything, but we're alright..."

"What are you called?" Emily questioned, earning an incredulous laugh from Brendon.

"You really don't know?" His voice was laced with disbelief. "Please understand, I'm not trying to be rude or unkind, but even in my own experience growing up in the Mormon church I listened to the radio." He said.There was definitely confusion in his tone, and a bit of concern as well. As he'd promised, there wasn't an ounce of judgment in his words. "Damn, how sheltered are you, Em?"

Emily felt her cheeks redden in embarrassment as she averted her gaze to the table. "I'm not sheltered." She defended. "Our Ward and Bishop are just...Well, we're not supposed to..." She was stumbling over her words, knowing anything she'd say at this moment would sound ridiculous. What kind of a girl, no, 21 year old woman didn't listen to secular radio stations?

Brendon must have sensed her discomfort, because the next thing Emily knew was that he'd reached out to place a hand over her own, attempting to pry her hands away from the cup, which she was gripping so hard she was about to crush it. "Hey, hey, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable. Let's just change the subject,okay?"

Emily pulled her hands away from Brendon's and abruptly stood from the table, shaking her head. "I can't be here, I shouldn't be here." She insisted, sparing a quick glance to the man, who looked even more confused and concerned than he had before. "It was nice meeting you, and thank you for the smoothie, but I...I have to get home."

"What? Emily, wait..I'm sorry, really. It wasn't my intention to scare you off like this."

Emily continued to shake her head. "I have to go. I can't be here..." And with that she made her way toward the door, not once looking back to see if Brendon was following her. She didn't care if he was, she wasn't stopping. It's been a mistake coming here in the first place. Better yet, it'd been a mistake storming out of her parents home like she had. But worst of all was being anything but complacent and having the audacity to show it.