My 1st Prom

Date: 16/6, Thurs

  A Notice to Student is on my table, requesting me to find Ms. Windy outside the Staff Room now. Oh God, no. 'Good morning, Celestia.' She scribbles on her notepad. 'Morning,' I respond, 'am I falling behind in any core subjects? ' 'No, you're not,' she stops scribbling, 'Have you upset your classmates?' 'I didn't lash out at them back then, as far as I'm concerned.' 'I've noticed this months ago,' Ms. Windy says, 'Some of your classmates claimed that you wiped something filthy on their desks.' Cursing silently, I lie through my teeth, 'I forgot.' I think I'm approaching my limit of dealing with crap today. Ms. Windy taps her pencil against her notepad, 'I see, you can go back to class now.' I drag my feet without saying goodbye, managing to stay calm. I honestly don't recall wiping something disturbingly dirty on their desks. Perhaps I was covered in M germs at that moment. Could it be because of my introvert tendencies? 'Wait,' Ms Windy calls out. I slowly turn around on my heels, 'What?' 'You are never left out, you just say it.' 'Uuuuhh...' That doesn't make any sense, but to my surprise, I have to prevent myself from crying, 'thanks a lot.'

Mum takes me on a shopping spree after school. More accurately, she's dropped me off at the mall with $800 -she's suddenly busy- along with a reminder not to be "extravagant". I've never held this much cash in my wallet. Shopping is a blur of hopping in and out of stores empty-handed. Forget wearing heels and carrying two armfuls of shopping bags like those ladies in commercials, I can't find anything that resembles my sketch and my legs are starting to ache. All of a sudden, I see a flash of pink behind a rack of dresses. Is that- I energetically dash to it, pushing multi-coloured skirts aside. The pink dress has loads of ribbons and beads attached. And it's the exact same dress on the mannequin in the window display I've seen 15 minutes ago. Never mind. I release a disappointed sigh and exit the last clothing shop in the mall.

'Goodnight, Cel. I'll take you to a different mall next time.' Mum collects her $800 before switching off the lights. I crawl under the blankets, 'Night.' I wish for a divine miracle. Not sleepy at all, my brain cells start connecting on a random topic: Dividing into groups for group projects. Teachers in charge always assign me to a group by random each time I'm left out, basically most of the time. Tough love hurts. Every time that happens, I'd uncomfortably stand next to my groupies, who'd always claim it's "a hassle". Group projects are like quizzes, with the tendency to suddenly popping up without warning. Always leaving me lonelier and more desperate than before. Whenever a teacher announces group projects in advance, I lose sleep until I've been assigned to a group. Especially this year.

My iPhone vibrates. A million WhatsApp texts from Apple and one from XYZ. Apple's texts mostly consist of "Talk with me tomorrow recess?" and "How about the day after?" "Do you have friends I don't know of outside school? They don't know you like I do. We've sat together since Primary 2." Mark as unread. XYZ's typed "It's great talking with you, I had fun. Told my step-brother, he's not mad at you. Stop kicking yourself." Plus a heart emoji. Texting back, I type "FANQS, you're nice to me when we're alone. I never wanted to follow Gyan's footsteps. Can I count on you in public?" Her online status appears in blue under her name, but she doesn't text back. And "last seen at..." appears. 

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

We've all been ignored on WhatsApp -while our friends are online- at one point. (Owie.) Besides that, we've also been the 'last girl/guy standing' when dividing into teams for school stuff. And we've got the dress (tux?) shopping experience for school dances. Kinda relatable, right? 

(/◕ヮ◕)/

(^ loud whisper) please vote for meeeeee~