H.M.S. TITHERTANIC

"Nice to meet you, fishy."

I looked again at the brochure that I had checked through sooo many times, just to make sure.

Again.

Yup, we are definitely on our way, on our way to fame. I peered out of the window, we were nearing the sunny, sandy bay that was our stop. Okay, so it wasn't sandy or sunny, but I could make do with what I got, so long as I didn't get lost.

There was a loud splash behind me, and I turned to see a wrinkled lady struggling with a giant fish that had escaped with a whole bucket full of water, from her handbag, onto the muddy bus floor.

Actually, I think it was more of a battered asda's reusable bag, with bits of straw and fish arranged over the brim. I wandered if it was in fashion or something.

After a few moments of contemplation, I decided that if I did get one, it would have to be waitrose, because I didn't want to look too underfed. Which didn't really answer my question, but would have to do, I resolved to send a letter to cousin Annabelle to see whether I should make one. She knows all about that  sort of stuff.

But, at the end of this year I will probably know even more than Anna, maybe I could be popular, and keep up with the trends. Plain old Morana is gone, she has been replaced by Rana, artist extraordinaire and fashion setter. Indeed, I was off to college, off to see the stars.

I once again checked the brochure. It said:

TITHER ARTS INSTITUTE FOR TALENTED YOUNG LADY'S

(Hear that? I'm talented)

This amazing school gives young women of all ages and nationalities extraordinary opportunities to excel in all arts.

(And there was a painting of...something)  

Here is a painting of the ship that the institute is on, H.M.S. TITHERTANIC, done by Melissa Fairchild, who has moved on from TITHER ARTS to work in the National Gallery in Japan.

I couldn't make out the rest of the leaflet because Fish Lady had splashed it, and I didn't want to wipe it on my new sweater because it smelt of fish, the water, not the sweater.

I turned to my right, Where my  best friend, Nina, sat. And realised that she was staring at me.

"Have I got something on my face? Oh no, it's the nose isn't it? Is my second chin sticking out?" I felt my face worriding-like, (Is that a word? I may write that in my new arts notebook. For inspiration.)

I continued to feel my mug, pulling at my black hair, pushing my pudgy cheeks in. 

You see, I, Morana Andrew Madly, am the sort of person who would break the scales on contact. My large frame could very easily squash the petite frame of Nina, and it regularly had.

Oh, and about the Andrew, I didn't have a Grandmother to have a middle name for, Gramps forgot Grampmums name, and Mum's adopted. So I was named after Other Gramps, or Gramps         And-Drew (Mum's name, Molly, would have made me MMM). So I'm MAM instead, or M&M's.

Anyway, back to staring at my face. Oh no wait, not my face!!! I followed her line of vision (past my nose) through the dirty window and onto the magnificent ship that was docked in the bay. And then it was Nina's turn to wave her hands.

"MORA!

MORA!

MORAAAA!!!" She yelled. (In my ear I might add)

"WHAAAAT!!!" I yelled. (In her's)

"We're here." She said in a conversational tone.                                                                                                

"OH!!! *cough* I mean oh?"

She just grabbed my arm and raced out of the bus, jostling Fish Lady. I made sure to grab our baggage before she left it. And I made certain to make a wide berth around Fish Lady, who was now picking green slime up from the floor, and plopping it with a loud slosh into her mackerel bag.

"Aaah, look at tho-se vandals!! Ru'ned ma fish they did. An' tha lacweed 'as gona-swell" I wasn't quite sure what that meant, but I might make a note about it in my arts notebook.

I chucked Nina's bags in her general direction, and continued until I heard a thump. Hmmm, that is not a Nina-ish noise. Usually, it's a squeal then a thump and then a 'I caught it!' . I then heard a splash, and quickly walked behind a pillar box.

Fish Lady was on the sand, fish first, she was only a metre or two from the water, and the big mackerel flopped towards the sea. 

Well, at least I saved a life today!